511. Me opening the fridge: “Baby you light up my world like nobody else.”
512. I hope history repeats itself, I really want a dinosaur.
513. The people in 1913 probably thought in 2013 we would have flying cars and robots …but no. so far we’ve come up with backwards robes and rubber bands shaped like animals.
514. Dear LOL, Thanks for being there for me when times get awkward. Sincerely, I have nothing else to say.
515. Stu(dying)
Stu(died)
Coincidence? I think not.
516. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “well that’s not going to happen.”
517. Why is there a show called “When animals attack”? It should be called “When stupid people go near dangerous animals.”
518. Guess I must’ve got drunk and married Google at some point. I can barely get a word out now before it tries to finish my sentence.
519. I have decided to leave my past behind me.. so If I owe you money..I’m sorry. but I’ve moved on.
520. “American Pie” ruined it for any kid that actually DOES have an amazing story from band camp.
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