Hilarious Facebook Statuses :)

#781-790

781. When life gives you lemons. Life probably stole those lemons from some nice old lady. Because life can be a real jerk sometimes.

782. At the grocery store, they usually have 6 check out lanes open, unless it's really busy, then they only use one.

783. I wonder where superman changes now that there are no more phone booths.

784. Thank you for pretending not to see me when I pretended not to see you.

785. I hate doing laundry so much that I wait until the only thing I have left to wear is my prom dress.

786. Currently considering going to bed before midnight. Who am I and what have I done with me?

787. CNN said the world is forty trillion dollars in debt. Who does the world owe? Jupiter?

788. Just once, I'd like to see an honest Facebook status, like "happy birthday to my average-looking, sort of friend, Amanda!"

789. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner??

790. My 83 year old neighbor got pulled over for speeding. She told the cop she had to hurry before she forgot where she was going.

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