#241-250

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241. Muffins – for people who don’t have the guts to order cake for breakfast.

242. Phone battery @ 28% = anxiety level @ 72%

243. If by “Hold” you mean take a moment to reflect on your poor customer service and how I should take my business elsewhere? Then yes, I’ll hold.

244. I told my family that I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle…So, they got up, unplugged my computer, and threw out my wine.

245. Not sure if my dog is barking for no reason or I’m about to be murdered.

246. I put the “Pro” in Procrastinate.

247. Every time you think you’re having a bad day, just think… you’re not the guy that drives a PT cruiser.

248. If you want me to go running with you, I’m going to need some motivation…Like a clown waving a bloody knife and chasing us.

249. Is it annoying when people answer their own questions? Yes it is. Do I wish they would stop? Absolutely.

250. I’m waiting till the iPad 1,473 comes out because it will fly you to the moon while you surf the internet.

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