61. Just remember, every day is a gift from God. Well except for Monday.. Satan slips that one in. He’s a sneaky bastard.
62. The best feeling: when you wake up at midnight and realize you still have more hours to sleep.
63. SAD NEWS – Please join me in remembering YET ANOTHER great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Dough Boy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Dough Boy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children, John Dough, Jane Dough, and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the Oven. Services were held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
64. My life feels like a test I didn’t study for and everybody is being a dick and not letting me cheat.
65. If my job was to browse the Internet and play on my phone, I don’t know what I’d do to slack off, but I’m sure I’d find something.
66. I hope I never go to jail because I haven’t memorized a phone number since 2001.
67. Are the Pringles and Monopoly guy related?
68. My bracket has more x’s than Taylor Swift.
69. They really should consider making “Oh crap! I missed my exit!” exits.
70. Sure, there’s plenty of fish in the sea. But there’s also sharks, seaweed & toxic waste.
Vote and comment for your favorite Hilarious Facebook Status!!
YOU ARE READING
Hilarious Facebook Statuses :)
HumorInspired by Han_Man: I'm going to be uploading at least 10 every week to give you pleasure and laughter, Maybe more ;) So, everytime I update, I need you all to do something for me... COMMENT YOUR FAVORITE! The first comment will always win the dedi...
