691. After 11, please stop counting in months how old your kid is.
692. Our generation is going to have the weirdest grandparents ever. Tatted, pierced up, not giving an eff & listening to rap music.
693. How do I gently tell people that I don't want to speak to their babies on the phone ever again?
694. Honestly, I'ver never see anyone fall because of a banana.
695. I have a boyfriend. Oh wait no... No, that's a fridge. I have a fridge.
696. I wonder whether I can trust doctors with dead plants in the waiting room.
697. I looked at the keyboard earlier and I noticed 'U' & 'I' are together, it's meant to be! Then I looked underneath it & it said JK.
698. Dear tongue, Can't touch this. Sincerely, elbow.
699. Mephobia... Fear of becoming so awesome that the human race can't handle it and everybody dies.
700. Facebook doesn't need a "dislike button" if no one liked your post then it's pretty evident they disliked it, in a nice way.
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Hilarious Facebook Statuses :)
HumorInspired by Han_Man: I'm going to be uploading at least 10 every week to give you pleasure and laughter, Maybe more ;) So, everytime I update, I need you all to do something for me... COMMENT YOUR FAVORITE! The first comment will always win the dedi...
