391. Relationships should come with an icon that shows you how much time you have left like your phone’s battery.
392. This being an adult thing really gets in the way of me living my life.
393. I usually don’t care what people are saying until they start whispering.
394. Somethings are best unsaid but my brain to mouth filter has never worked right.
395. 5 bucks says I can get a subway foot long right now.
396. Just texted “I still love you” to about 50 random phone numbers.
397. Inside me is a skinny woman screaming to get out. I can usually shut her up with a cookie.
398. That awkward moment when you’re that one friend who always gives relationship advice but is still single.
399. “Is it food time yet?” = The summarization of most of my thoughts.
400. Dear those people who use their cellphones as a personal stereo in public, stop it. Sincerely, Everybody.
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