471. Probably the worst thing about being a penguin is after you’re in an argument you’ll try to waddle away angrily but still look adorably cute.
472. How many times do I have to say “excuse me” before “get the hell out of my way” becomes acceptable?
473. There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water. Number 1 and number 2.
474. My ceiling fan has 3 speeds:
1) Barely moving.
2) Kinda feels like it’s working.
3) Is going to fly off the ceiling and kill someone.
475. We are all guilty of using a different word when we can’t spell the one we want to use.
476. Starbucks isn’t really that expensive when you you consider what Victoria Secret charges per cup.
477. Being an adult means going to the grocery store and paying a ton of money and still having nothing to eat.
478. Stop complaining about being single. We have bigger problems here. Like why McDonald’s doesn’t serve breakfast after 10:30.
479. Short horror story: old pictures of me
480. I love smiling at random people. Some of them smile back. Some of them get really creeped out, but that makes it worth it.
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