Crazy Conversations

1

Me: Hey Dad

Dad: What the hell do u want, you asked me like how many times 100?

Me: I havent asked u a qwestion all day... *rolls my eyeballs*

Dad: Wtf did ya do with ur eyes son, u fucking cross-eyed cuz i aint takin u to no optical doctor shit i have 0 dollars!

Me: Oh wow Dad... u are such a...*dad cuts me off*

Dad: Ik im awesome, thanks for saying that

Me: I was just asking if I could-

Dad: Have sex? Hell no, you want fucking STD's, No now fucking leave me alone!

Me: What the hell Dad, I just wanted to go-

Dad: Are you getting a job as a Playgirl cuz you cant! U got a flabby ass LIKE seriously!

Me: NO, WOULD U LIKE FUCKING LISTEN!

Dad: Ill go buy you a box of condoms if thats what you need... that urge of sex soooo bad son

Me: .... - _ - *face palm*

Dad: So, is that a yes?

Me: No... I just wanted to go to my friends house..

Dad: Ur girlfriends house, u never told me u had a girlfriend? How come I didnt know bout it?

Me: My friend is a guy *sigh*

Dad: Oh, now I know ur gay... hmm u probably still need-

Me: NO DAD, I AM NOT GAY, I JUST WANTED TO HANG WITH MY FRIEND JEFF, MY BEST FRIEND! I DIDNT SAY ANYTHIN BOUT FUCKIN ANYBODY AT ALL!

Dad: Hahaha, dont hide ur secrets, cause i know

Me: Wrong idea dad very wrong.

Dad: u go get em :p

Me: u r fucking weird

Dad: im sry, what waz that?

Me: My dad aka A fucking weirdo

Dad: -_- I just want to fucking beat u

Me: Im soo scared

Dad: *gets a bat in the garage*

Me: Oh shit! *runs out the door*

Dad: Im just trying to protect u from sexual predators!! *he shouts*

Me: Whatever! *runs away fast*

sup peoples, this actually happened like idk when a few days ago, can u believe this shit. Idk what to say, this is fucking weird. idk how he got the idea of 'sex' into this convo cause my dad was apparently drunk at this time...
no really, he was drunk....

Thats probably why...