Led to Mr. Billionaire

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

"You've been silent." Yemi's voice sounded like a background sound, and I couldn't stop thinking about what they said.

Was he leaving?

Kate looked so sure that he was going back.

But to where?

The thought bothered me. If he was leaving as she implied, then did that mean everything going on between us was to pass the time? He didn't deny it either, and that scared me. I was just opening up to a man, well, one man, but that was progress, right?

Would he leave me? Would he tell me? We had left his office thirty minutes earlier, and he was driving through Lagos traffic to drop me home. Kate left before his noon meeting, and I thought it would be best not to say anything at the moment, but I just couldn't wrap my head around it.

I snapped out of my mini trance when I heard loud screeching noises, causing me to jerk forward. The screeching stopped, and I turned my head to look at what caused the noise, only to see that we were at the gate of my estate. Confused as to why we had stopped, I turned my gaze to Yemi to see him staring at me with concerned eyes.

"What?" I asked, letting my gaze hold the questioning for later.

"I've been talking to you for almost ten minutes now, and you didn't even flinch. What's wrong? You've been silent since we left the office." My eyes widened at the fact that I had spaced out for that long. Should I ask him? Talking to him is better than assuming, right?

"Are you leaving?" My small voice hid the uncertainty and little fear that had accompanied those questions.

"What?" his soft voice asked as his eyes held genuine curiosity.

"That woman, Kate, said you knew you couldn't stay here for too long, and you said you wouldn't leave until you had completed what you were here for. I'm not trying to be paranoid or anything. I know you came for your masters, but that is long done, so I guess what I wanna know is: are you leaving?" there, I asked.

"Oh, you heard that?" he said with a sigh as his expression fell, while I looked at him like? Was that all he was going to say?

Before I could say anything else, he came down from the car and stood there, which made me confused so I stepped out and walked over to him.

"Were you going to leave without telling me?" I asked in a soft voice that held confusion. He just stared at me like I had said something wrong. Did I?

"I was supposed to leave after my masters. Heck, I was still meant to leave, but then I met you. Do you remember how I told you I was here because I was instructed?" It took a moment for me to recall one of our first conversations, and yes, he did say it.

"Yeah, you said you were meant to meet someone," I said in confusion.

"Yeah, well, that person is you, Dara. I didn't know why I was so attracted to you, not just physically, but like I felt a pull to you. I was calm whenever I saw you, I would be so happy to see you smile. And felt so angry when you cried about those who hurt you, but it became clearer. Dara, I was led to you," he explained, reaching out to hold my hand as I stared at him, speechless.

I did feel the pull too, and just like Pastor Ayo taught me, I did feel led to him. I thought it was just because of his way of making me feel better about myself, but it was more than that.

"I know you know what I'm talking about, Dara. You are the one for me. I've dated before, and I almost felt like they were the ones, but what I have with you is so much more. The emotions, the help, and the clarity I have felt these past months were because of you. I love you Dara, and you know it and I would like more than anything for you to be my wife, but I wasn't sure how you'd react to that topic and honestly, I was scared you'd leave me because I wasn't patient enough," I stared at this man incredulously.

Wife? He said that word again, and honestly, I was also scared. With what I've seen and experienced in marriage, I never counted myself as its candidate, yet, did I see myself committed to this man? Yes, I did, but marriage?

"There's the apprehensive look I always get when I bring up the topic. I don't want to lie to you, Dara, and I certainly don't like keeping things from you, but I just want to know: don't you picture us together, not just like this but as a couple? As a family?" his voice held a sad tone, making it my turn to look at him incredulously.

"Of course I do. I do love you; I've never been so sure of anything in my life, well, other than keeping Grace, but you have been the third best thing in my life, and I do see us together as a family, I want it, but I'm also just too scared of marriage. I know firsthand the ugly side of it." I explained my fears, and it felt relieving to say them out loud. Yemi sighed and brought his hands till they held both my arms, running them up and down and giving me a sense of warmth from the cold evening weather.

"I've told you time and time again, Dara, they are not you. Like you said, they were experiences; we would not be making experiences but memories and love. It won't be easy; no marriage is, but at least this time we know it's right." I nodded, understanding his words.

He always said this. I would always compare myself to past relationships. I had watched my parents' marriage crumble from the beginning, and I had witnessed it with my body, life, and eyes. To me, marriage was scary.

"You're right, and I understand, I do, but I don't know why I keep having these fears. Sometimes, I still think that you are better off without me. I'm not as beautiful as Kate, neither do I have wealthy ancestors or a big job, I'm just an ordinary girl who has been trying to survive for her daughter and now you," his hands left my arms making me look at him to see him staring at me with a bit of anger and frustration in his eyes.

"Why do you do this to yourself, Ara? Why do you constantly compare yourself with others? You are not them; no one has your purpose, Ara. You may not be as beautiful as them, but you are gorgeous to me and those around you. You may not have wealthy ancestors, but you have a family who loves you, and you may not have a big job, but you have managed to cater for a baby since she was born on your own. Not many people can do that, Ara." As he spoke, his eyes widened as though he had just realized something important. He then stared at me with an emotion I couldn't decipher.

"I can't make you believe it, Ara. I can't make you believe in yourself if you are not willing to. You have to believe it in your heart before you can say it with your mouth. We've been dating for months, Ara, and you constantly compare yourself, saying I'm better off with someone better, and it's so damn frustrating, because have you ever stopped to think, that you're better for me, or you're the one who is too good for me?" his eyes gave out the frustration he was feeling, and I felt so guilty because I was causing it.

If only I was better.

"It's not fair to you because you're better than this, and the sooner you realize that your past is only there to strengthen you, the faster it becomes for you to move on. I love you Darasimi so damn much and I want you to be my wife, more than anything, that's why I'm still here. I want nothing more than to return to England with my fiancé or wife. Take time for yourself to think about what you want, Dara, from yourself and us. I'll be waiting. Good night, Love." he placed a longing kiss on my head, and like that, he entered the car and was gone.

I just stood there, with my hands wrapped around my arms, as I watched him leave without a word.

I knew I hadn't lost him, but why did I feel like I almost had?

His words racked my brain as I decided to walk slowly into the estate. He was right. I didn't believe I was better. Yeah, I tried to act better, but I felt like my heart was still healing.

I don't get it, it's been more than ten years. Why can't I move on?