"I hold in my hand, ladies and gentlemen, our competition for Regionals," Mr. Schue announced, standing center stage in the auditorium.
"Whoo!" Everyone clapped excitedly.
"Drumroll, please," he added.
Everyone joined in. Melanie tapped out a playful drumroll on Sam's shoulder, Kitty drummed on her knees, and Unique on Artie's shoulder.
"From... North Central High School in Indianapolis: the Hoosierdaddies," he read aloud.
"That's very clever," Tina smirked.
"And from Our Lady of Perpetual Loneliness in Battle Creek, Michigan: the Nun-Touchables," Mr. Schue continued.
"Wait, is that a convent?" Blaine asked, brows raised.
"Guys, I like our chances against both these squads, but we've still got a lot of work to do," Mr. Schue went on.
"Mr. Schue, please stop talking. I have an announcement," Brittany interrupted, walking up to the group. "I regret to inform you... a deadly asteroid is headed our way."
Everyone stared at her in silence.
"Not again," Melanie muttered.
"Didn't we go through this at Christmas?" Blaine asked, exchanging a look with Tina.
"Yeah—and is it true you and Sam got married?" Tina turned to Melanie and Sam, both of whom immediately looked away, suddenly very interested in the floor.
"Did that happen? Because you always told me I'd be a bridesmaid," Tina added, mildly offended.
"Shut up, Tina," Brittany said sharply. "I'm naming this comet Tubbington-Bopp, and it's headed straight for Lima."
"Wait, so is it an asteroid or a comet?" Artie asked, confused.
"It's both," Brittany answered confidently.
"Wouldn't NASA know something about this?" Marley questioned.
"We can't trust NASA," Brittany insisted. "Last month, a meteor exactly like Tubbington-Bopp hit Russia—with no warning at all."
"Oh, so now it's a meteor," Artie said, blinking.
"That's right, Artie. And when this meteorite hits, I will not be spending my final moments in this room rehearsing for Regionals. I will be spending my last hours making amends with someone I need to get right with. Someone I love very much... Lord Tubbington."
She gave them all a serious look. "So go home. Hide your wife. Hide your kids. And hide your wife. McKinley High, I salute you."
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
"Sam, we're not going to get hit by an asteroid," Melanie said, half-exasperated, half-amused.
"I don't think we're gonna get hit by an asteroid," Sam replied. "I'm just saying... what if we were?" He gave a casual shrug. "Like, Brittany's probably wrong, but also... what if she's not?"
Melanie shook her head, giving him a small smile. "We'd know if an asteroid was coming. And by 'we,' I mean more than just Brittany."
"The dinosaurs didn't know," Sam pointed out. "They were just goin' about their business and then bam—Land Before Time. I don't wanna get Land-Before-Timed."
Melanie snorted. "The dinosaurs didn't have satellites. Or NASA."
"You really think if a comet that could wipe us out was headed our way, the government would tell us?" Sam asked, raising a brow.
YOU ARE READING
You Drive Me Crazy || Sam Evans
FanfictionYOU DRIVE ME CRAZY | ❝ Everyone else looks right through me but he looks at me and he sees me. ❞ Melanie Park was the new girl she expected to go through high school unseen in the background. That is until she joins the glee club. where she finds no...
