You Drive Me Crazy || Sam Evans

61. The Breakup

"That's it," Sam announced dramatically, setting his sandwich down. "We have to break up."

Melanie rolled her eyes, shoving his shoulder lightly. "You're ridiculous."

"No, you're ridiculous," Sam shot back. "You don't like Batman."

She just shrugged, completely unfazed. "I just don't get the hype."

Sam's jaw dropped like she had just insulted his entire family lineage. "You don't get the hype about the coolest superhero to ever exist?"

"First of all," Melanie said, holding up a finger, "he's not the coolest superhero to ever exist. He's not even the coolest in DC."

Sam sat back, looking utterly betrayed. "Excuse me?"

"Superman's cooler," she continued.

Sam rolled his eyes but gave a lazy nod. "Yeah, okay, I can maybe give you that."

"And Wonder Woman is definitely cooler than Batman," Melanie added.

"Fine," he grumbled, with a small nod.

"Also, Nightwing is cooler than Batman." She stated matter-of-factly.

Sam snapped his gaze to her, eyes narrowing in judgment. "What?"

Melanie smirked, knowing she'd just hit a nerve. "You heard me." She said, popping a fry into her mouth.

He stared at her like she had just confessed to hating puppies. "You think Batman's sidekick is cooler than Batman himself?"

"Former sidekick," she corrected. "And yes. He's got better acrobatics, better personality, and honestly? Way better costume."

Sam scoffed. "Batman is the personality. He's literally the definition of cool."

Melanie gave him a skeptical look. "You mean brooding? He just stands on rooftops looking dramatic. Anyone can do that."

Sam gasped, gripping his chest like she had physically wounded him. Then, without warning, he deepened his voice into a gravelly rasp. "I'M BATMAN."

Melanie snorted, covering her mouth as she burst out laughing.

Sam grinned. "I am vengeance."

Melanie continued to laugh at the impression.

Sam wiggled his brows, leaning toward her. "I'm the night."

Melanie was cackling, trying to shove him away. "Oh my god, I can't breathe. Stop," she wheezed, her eyes watering as she laughed uncontrollably.

He chuckled, leaning back with a satisfied smirk. "I bet if I wore the cowl, you'd change your mind."

"Doubtful," she teased, wiping her eyes.

Sam shook his head in disbelief, picking at her fries, making her slap his hand. "Next, you're gonna tell me Blaine's the Wolverine."

Melanie paused, giving him an amused smile.

Sam stared at her. "Okay, now we're really breaking up," he declared, grabbing his tray like he was about to leave.

Melanie just laughed and reached over to shove his shoulder again. "There's nothing wrong with being the Cyclops."

"He's lame," Sam complained.

"He's not. For one, he's taller," Melanie pointed out.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

"He's the real leader of the X-Men," Melanie continued.

Sam huffed. "Yeah, yeah."

"And," she continued, her voice dropping just a bit as she trailed her fingers lightly over his arm, "his power is really cool."