tape → narry au

22 → verklempt

A.N; If you have major discomfort when reading about contents such as deliberate harming to yourself or someone else then I highly suggest you shouldn't read this story.
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Verklempt:
choked or completely overcome with emotion.

"Everything," he answers sincerely.

I wait patiently for him to continue on. Not knowing entirely what else to say really.

The moment that I've always thought and dazed about was actually happening made it almost feel surreal. I could hardly believe Niall was about to tell me everything when he rarely told me anything.

"First I want to apologise for my behaviour for the past weeks. For that unnecessary blow I said to you. I didn't mean it and I'm very very sorry."

It wasn't a sincere apology, but I took it, however. Muttering an it's okay along with other assurances just so Niall would continue on with his confession.

"I stopped talking to you after the night at the bolder because I envied you Harry."

"You envied me?" I repeat finding it unbelievable.

My adorable roommate with the electrifying blue eyes was jealous of me-- a dull, awkward teenager for unknown reasons.

"Yes," Niall deadpans.

"But," I stammer. "Why?"

"Because you're so open about your eating disorder. You told me about it without a care in the world, whilst I could barely form the words to why I'm even here," Niall explains. "I was so upset. Happy for you of course, but upset at myself really."

"But, why?" I ask.

Niall sighs frustratingly. Fingers carding through his habitual blond quiff before answering, "It just isn't-- never was easy telling others and even my mam of my habit in hurting myself. They all thought I was mad. I'm afraid you'll think so too. It's okay if you do since I thought I was mad for some time too-."

"You're not mad, Niall," I assure him. Niall isn't crazy at all. "Do you still-"

He cuts me off with a nod of his head. "Not as often as before," he answers.

I nod understandingly.

"You think I'm mad, don't you?" Niall asks after seconds of silence dawn between the two of us.

"Not at all," I answer.

"You hate me, don't you?" he then questions as I shake my head instantly after.

"I did before you apologised, really," I admit causing Niall to chuckle quietly.

"I can believe it," he mutters. "I was being a knob."

"Yeah..," I agree truthfully. Niall was being an arsehole, but he did have his reasons on why he was acting the way he did. "But you had your reasons," I compromise.

"Stupid reasons," he corrects. "I've realised they're absurd when I grew a pair at group session earlier and told Miss Siddle about you."

"You were speaking about me?" I gape, thinking of the conversation between Miss Siddle and Niall earlier this morning.

"Who else would I be speaking about?"

I shrug, realising Niall's confession was closely related to our prior dispute. Except for the compliments. Niall never complimented before.