tape → narry au

50 → orphic

Orphic:
mysterious and entrancing; beyond ordinary understanding.

→ Filler ←

Niall still wasn't ready to discuss it and I wasn't planning to rush nor cause discomfort because of the topic, but I was beginning to feel closed off from Niall's life before Tape and even now, during it.

Yet of course I forced myself to disclose the negative thoughts that were starting to accumulate inwardly. Choosing the latter to not discuss any of them similar to Niall. And that wasn't the right choice.

Then again I, as well as Niall, weren't making the safest nor smarter choices at the moment.

Just like we both agreed to sleep in our own beds the previous night. Not in the habitual mood to coddle with one another, and in all honesty I didn't have the specific urge or yearn of having Niall's arms enclosed around me. Hearing the usual soft snores escaping from his mouth throughout the night.

I wasn't in the mood for anything affiliated with Niall really.

I was starting to develop, desire my old habit of wanting to confide in myself—be alone and to myself, but Niall wasn't allowing that.

He'd always find an attempt to keep me from enclosing myself within my head by igniting conversations or bantering with or at me to spark small laughter.

Yet I wasn't allowed to help Niall escape from his own self, his mind and thoughts. A practical double standard.

I just wouldn't announce it—especially within the confinements of the group cabin walls. Listening to Miss Siddle discuss the routined objective for the next two hours with of course, her desire to place us in pairs.

Two persons that've never conversed nor spoke ever, partnered together.

I was placed with Courtney. A girl with a similar persona to Bean and Niall, before I got to know the real him. Though Courtney remained the same--

Same burgundy hair and tanned skin along with amber eyes. The amiable demeanour that automatically comforted me once she sat in Louis's old seat.

She gave me a friendly, simple wave before crossing her leg over the other comfortably. A small smile revealing after settling and situating herself to comfort.

I just watched on thoroughly. Returning a mocking smile before looking around the group cabin only to lock eyes with the familiar bright blue that belongs to Niall.

He warily smiles at me before mouthing the three familiar words. Instantly turning away from me to continue his discussion with Danielle. The prominent grin still present as our eyes detach intentionally.

The movement causes me to sigh to myself lowly. I wanted to return the three effective words to Niall, but in order to brighten the downed mood I made a mental note to remind Niall I loved him too right after the two hour duration of group session.

"You and Niall, hm," Courtney hums in attempt to spark a small conversation.

I allow her to, nodding my head as a simple response with no verbal words to say.

"Cute," was all she says before beaming amiably at me, playing with the hairs on her eyebrow whilst looking away from me.

Only if she knew.

-

I was rather content once noon struck. A latter of us swift to exit from the group cabin right after Miss Siddle's departing speech.

I ignored her habitual words, quick to find Niall's side as the two of us walked indirectly—no Liam along with us since he's been knocking around Dilan more often lately. I didn't mind that.

"I love you too," I murmur without facing Niall.

Niall doesn't respond nor does he lead the both of us towards the canteen. We were trailing towards our shared cabin without a specific nor brief reason to why.

That was until Niall utters, "I kinda—." He stammered a bit, "I just want to coddle you. I missed you a lot last night."

I nod simply. Mumbling a polite thank you to Niall for his manners in holding our front door for myself and him.

-

"Do you want to talk about anything?" I find myself asking Niall.

His face was buried into my, well his really, shirt. The comfortable position he discovered between my thighs with his arms managing to enclose around my waist as I sit up on the mattress, far from comfortable.

Niall shakes his head but sighs deeply. "You smell pleasant," he mumbles into the grey material. Niall's hot breath heating my skin through the cotton.

The words cause me to breathe a small yet almost loud laugh. Niall's automatic response to laugh along too. His face slowly lifting from the hideaway place he found in our shirt to face me initially.

Niall's hand caresses my cheek in his usual soft gesture. Myself automatically leaning into the gentle touch only to lock eyes with him intensively.

His free hand swipes at one of his eyes briefly. Both his eyes closing for a short moment as he detaches our abrupt gazes with each other.

"Harry," Niall sighs instantly after. "What's going to happen if one of us leaves Tape before the other?"

I never thought to analyse this thought or the thought of Niall leaving Tape before I because I always assumed I'd leave before him in another two months.

We've talked about this briefly once, but not long enough to come to an agreement or a solution for the sudden yet inevitable obstacle for Niall and myself.

And as habitual I choose to ignore the negativity creeping in. Only opting to kiss Niall's nose in a reassuring comfort only to say, "I'll still love you if you or I leave before the other. Just like I love you now."

Niall doesn't look at all assured though he doesn't announce it as he presses his lips to mine briefly.

"I'll still love you too," he mutters against my lips, pulling away to give me a small smile to in which I easily return.

All the same the thought etches itself into my mind:

What will happen once I leave Tape before Niall or if he leaves before I?
_________________________________________________________________________

A.N: The name change for me if you all haven't noticed. Haha, I've went from six-three-times to narriee. I guess it's official or for now permanent.

What do you think will happen next? Do you think Niall will leave before Harry or Harry before Niall?

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