tape → narry au

51 → abditory

Abditory:
a place into which you can disappear; a hiding place.

On Friday I awoke to an empty cabin. Niall's abrupt departure not having that much of an effect on me as I washed and readied myself for group session this morning. My automatic instinct telling me Niall was most likely at the canteen for breakfast.

So when I wore one of his hoods (that fit as an oversized hood but I was quite fond of the look), I didn't think too much about his earlier leave.

That was until I spotted Liam and Dilan along with a mass of others with no Niall dispersed around the seating area of the canteen cabin for the morning, a concerning emotion began to overtake my comforted aura.

"Have any of you seen Niall?" I asked indirectly as I sat across from Liam, fumbling with my fingers a bit to calm the increasing worry creeping in on me.

Dilan was first to answer. Grinning widely along with confidently as he sarcastically asked, "Your knight in shining armour, Niall? The one you love oh so much, Niall?" he didn't leave me anytime to answer before he shrugged, "Nope, haven't seen him this morning."

Liam shoved Dilan with his elbow scoldingly as I only rolled my eyes at him, Niall's location far more relevant than telling Dilan to sod off of it this morning. Fortunately for me someone had taken the opportunity to scold Dilan verbally, and it was Bean.

"Oh come off it, Dilan," she rolled her eyes at the grinning figure also before turning to face me. "Nope but maybe he's already at group session," she stated hopefully, a spark of hope erupting from within at her humble response.

Bean's positiveness was enough for me to eat and fully digest my breakfast before the start of group session, hoping to see Niall sat in his permanent seat once I arrived to group session.

But I didn't.

Instead, Niall's seat was empty and well noticeable to myself, everyone, and Miss Siddle once she made her arrival to the group cabin. And I was first on her list of interrogation.

Her grey eyes stared at me warily when she asked me where Niall was. I would've told her the truth, but instead I told Miss Siddle Niall was down with the stomach flu, intentionally ignoring the confused stares I received from others immediately after.

Miss Siddle brushed off the topic off Niall, telling me to deliver her wishes to take the sickness well before diving back into her two hour session whilst I was left to think and burden myself with Niall's abrupt whereabouts for the remaining hour.

-

After Miss Siddle's departing lecture I was swift to run back to cabin nine in search of my obnoxious boyfriend, only to find our cabin room completely empty. Abandoned the same way I left it earlier hinting Niall hadn't returned to our cabin not once during group session hours.

-

After practically running around the Tape site, I deemed Niall missing. There was no way he was anywhere within the range of the outdoor institution which had me worried sick.

If Niall left would he tell me? He had to leave, where else would he be?

That was until a thought, assumption of the very last place Niall could be filled through my mind—me nearly tripping over my own two feet to get to the bolder where Niall and I always go to keep to ourselves as a hideaway place.

And once I arrived there my breath hitched at the sight in my initial view: my Niall with crimson red eyes sobbing his eyes out with his knees hugged into his chest as he stared beyond the lake, using one of his hands to wipe the falling tears as he rocked back then forth repeatedly.

I ran to him. Quick to wrap my arms around his vulnerable figure—afraid to ask why he was crying or why he missed out on group, because I already knew the answer. That, Niall's addiction in deliberately hurting himself, was always the answer.

All the same I allowed Niall to bury his face into my neck. His hot tears accumulating on my already clammy skin but I couldn't care less once I pulled away from him to wipe at his tired eyes gently, pressing soft kisses to the milky skin before muttering, "Niall, baby. What happened?"

But all Niall did was shake his head vigorously. "Promise me one more thing Harry," he rasped probably from the lack of verbal speech for so many hours. "Please, it's very important," Niall pleaded once I grew silent.

I nodded for him to continue and all he said was: "Never let them take the light behind your eyes, okay?" before burying his head on his lap to look away from my intensive gaze.

I sat there silent. I didn't know what he meant or what that event meant, yet for some inward reason I felt as if I was soon to find out.

Nevertheless I promised Niall another thing I, as well as he, knew I wouldn't be able to keep.

Then we sat in a far from comfortable silence. The only audible sound was Niall's sniffling and quiet sobs as his body continued to rock back then forth repeatedly as the noon shifted into evening then into night—our curfew arriving sooner than expected.

But I could care less. I still wanted to know why Niall skipped out on group session, even if I knew the answer, I wanted to hear Niall admit it so I asked him the four words I was beginning to become familiar with: Did you hurt again?

And it made Niall's quiet sobs become louder once he nodded in confirmation various apologises escaping from his mouth in the process.

I knew Niall was wrong as well as I knew he was far from progressing, but instead of scolding my vulnerable boyfriend, I enclosed him in my arms just similar to that day earlier when I had slipped through a relapse. Murmuring assurances into his ear whilst wiping his falling tears away.

I was swift to lift Niall's chin with my index once he let out a breathy gasp. His extremely red eyes staring into my own as I held his face between both my hands. "I love you Niall and you know that, right?" I waited for him to nod before continuing, "Nothing you can ever do will upset me or earn any judgement from me. You do know that,"

He nodded again.

"And whenever you're ready to discuss what's really bothering you, I'll be here waiting to listen and I always will," I assured him. "I love you."

"I love you too," Niall croaked. "And I'm sorry," he murmured quietly.

I was swift to assure him he had nothing to apologise for, yet again, but Niall only responded with a, "At least yet."

But I chose to ignore the concerning, quiet response now, leaving it for another day; too fixated on the vulnerable lad I call my boyfriend slowly breaking in my eyes view right in front of me.
________________________________________________________________________

A.N: I did a double update! I would've never expected to get Part 51 in so soon but I did and I'm satisfied haha.

Niall was very disappointing to most readers in this chapter. Do you think he'll tell Harry why he's really hurting or no? What do you think will happen next? Comment, comment, comment.

And to all of my readers that are located in Paris: I hope you're all doing well. #prayforParis

If you enjoyed or were effected by Part 51: Comment • Follow • Vote • Share

Next update should be just as rapid, hopefully.