infatuation // m.h

16

I took the elevator up to Jo's apartment. She was at standing at the door, waiting for me. She was worried.
"Thanks for answering." I said before breaking down.
"Oh, honey. Come inside. Come on." Jo said, ushering me inside her apartment. We sat on the couch and I recounted what happened.
She bit her lip.
"It's okay. Say what you think." I said.
"He sounds terrible. I know you love him, but is he what you want? What you need?" She asked.
I really did feel like she was my mother sometimes.
"I love him." I said.
"Are you sure?" She asked, wrapping her arms around me. She played with my hair. It was comforting.
"Sometimes I don't know if he loves me." I admitted.
"I know he loves you. But he's young and famous, surrounded by women and booze and drugs." Jo said wisely.
I nodded. Jo continued.
"He's distracted. But he'll come around." Jo said.
"I was humiliated. They looked at me like I was stupid." I said, sobbing again.
"Oh, sweetie. It's okay. Let it out. It's alright." Jo comforted.
"Thank you, Jo. I appreciate it." I said.
"It's fine. You can call me any time, okay? I'll answer." Jo said, running her fingers through my hair lightly.
"Thank you." I said sleepily.
I ended up falling asleep on Jo's couch with her.
I realised that I'd grown so close to Jo over a matter of weeks - she was a good friend. She was the sort of person that you could call at one in the morning and she'd be there for you.

I woke up and checked my phone.

Matty - Missed Call (7)

I ignored the missed calls. I needed to cool off. I checked twitter to distract myself.
All over my timeline were photos of Matty with gorgeous models, especially the blonde next to him last night.
Then I saw photos that someone had snapped of them - making out.

Matty. With another girl. My heart dropped to my stomach. I held in more tears.
"Shit." I mumbled.
I threw my phone away from me to land in the opposite side of the couch.
"You up?" Jo called from the kitchen.
"Yeah." I said groggily.

"He kissed the model." I said glumly.
"Shit! What a fucking prick!" Jo yelled from the kitchen.
"He called my phone three times." Jo filled me in. I sighed.
"I don't want to speak to him." I said quickly.
"I know. You can stay here. Go and get some clothes and you can stay here for as long as you need." Jo said.
I nodded. "Thank you so much, Jo."
I figured I'd go an get clothes now. Matty might be asleep, or out. With that girl, I thought.
"I can go if you want. If you don't want to see him." Jo offered.
"No. I have to do this." I replied.

I took the elevator down to our floor. I knew there was a chance Matty would be home. I didn't want to face him.
With one last deep breath, I opened the door.

I saw Matty sitting with his elbows on his knees, and his hands covering his eyes. When he heard the door click open, his eyes went wide and he stood up in a matter of seconds.
"Nikki," he said. He tried to walk towards me.
"Don't even start. I'm here to grab some clothes. I don't want to talk to you." I said angrily.
"Nikki, stop," Matty said, grabbing my wrist as I walked past him.
"Matty, let go of me." I said quietly, ripping my arm out of his grip with rage.
I stormed into the bedroom and started stuffing clothes into a bag.
"Where are you going?" Matty asked helplessly from the door.
"Not here, that's for fucking sure!" I yelled.
"Look, I know I fucked up -" Matty started to say.
"Fucked up?" I laughed. "Yeah. You humiliated me, and then kissed another girl. I think that's fucked up." I said through gritted teeth.
"I know. I'm sorry. Nikki," he grabbed my arm again "I'm so sorry."
"Matty, I can't even look at you right now. I fucking hate you right now." I seethed, rage boiling in my blood.
Matty stepped back for a second, looking hurt. I felt a small piece of me feel pleased with myself for hurting him like he hurt me.
"Nikki, please." Matty pleaded.
"No. I think we need a break." I said coldly.
Before I could think, I pushed past him and ran to the elevator with my bag.
"Nikki!" He yelled. But before he could say any more there were floors between us.