infatuation // m.h

33

Six weeks to go.
Six weeks.

He'll be home soon, it'll be over soon. I won't be sleeping alone.

Six weeks to go.

The days in the next week kind of blurred together in a hazy fog. I felt lost without him. I let my days pass me by, ignoring clocks. They just reminded me of how far away he was.

I went out for coffee with Jo, Gaia and Maggie one day. We met up at a little coffee house on the beach front. There were comfy couches and glass coffee tables, and we picked a spot outside together.
They were all lovely like usual, we chatted and caught up with each other.
"You missing him yet?" Maggie asked with a sympathetic smile.
"Yeah. Six weeks to go." I said.
"It's hard, I know. When she was away for a bit for work, I was going mad." Maggie said, patting Gaia's leg.
I smiled at them weakly.

After going out for coffee Jo and I walked home together and I followed her up to her apartment.
"Hey, I'm not feeling too well. I'm going to go have a lie down, but you can stay and paint if you'd like." Jo said, walking into her bedroom. I thanked her and nodded, going about my business with my paintings.
I hummed to myself quietly, plugging in my headphones and listening to music while I did bits and pieces on artworks that weren't quite finished.

My phone rang, jolting me out of my own head.
"Hey baby." Matty's familiar voice said on the other end of the line.
"Hey." I smiled.
"I'm about to get on another fucking plane." He laughed nervously.
"You'll be fine." I laughed with him.
"I miss you." He said.
"I know you do." I grinned.
"What are you doing right now?" He asked.
"Painting," I said. "But I'm really just wasting time. I've done so many pieces the past few days. I'm tired." I said.
"How are they selling?" He asked.
"Jo's clients are loving them. I went to an auction the other day. Jo normally just sells them for me and gives me whatever my pieces sell for. But it was actually pretty fun. They were all so posh and ridiculous." I laughed.
"You sound really happy. I'm glad." Matty said with a smile.
I decided to leave Jo in peace - I packed up my art stuff and closed her apartment door softly.
"But you know what would make me happier?" I asked him, watching the elevator doors close.
"What?" He asked.
I walked to the apartment and opened my door.
"If you were here." I said.
Matty sighed. "I know, babe."
"Six weeks to go." I said.
"Six weeks." Matty repeated.

I walked to the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of wine. I didn't care that it wasn't even four in the afternoon. I wanted to relax a bit. I chatted to Matty as I gulped my glass down. I lit up a spliff and smoked it down to a roach, feeling relaxed and hazy now. Matty listened to me talk about normal boring life at home, and I loved listening to his stories about shows and meetings fans and him doing what he loves.
"I'm home now. All alone in this big empty bed." I said with a grin as I flopped onto the mattress. I stretched my arms out, feeling the cool sheets underneath my skin.
"Believe me, I wish I was there." Matty smiled.
"M-hm? And what would you do if you were?" I asked, closing my eyes with a cheeky grin.
"I can't do this here," Matty laughed. "I'm in a fucking airport."
"That's too bad." I mumbled, reaching down to touch myself.
"You're not doing what I think you're doing, are you?" Matty asked.
I giggled. "That depends on what y-you're thinking about." I mumbled hazily, focusing on his voice.
"God, Nikki." He laughed. I could tell I was making him squirm.
I moaned quietly and I heard Matty exhale through his teeth.
"You're going to drive me insane." He said quietly.
"G-Good." I said, rocking my hips.
I heard Matty getting up out of his seat, mumbling he was going to the bathroom or something.
"I wish I was there." He said. I moaned, hearing his voice and imagining him here with me. It wasn't the same, but it was as much as we could do given the circumstances.
"Me too, baby." I moaned.
"Stop." He commanded.
I was so close to my climax, but I did what he said. "Why?"
"I'm going to tell you what to do." He growled.
I smiled and nodded, even though I knew he couldn't see me.

"Squeeze your thighs together." He demanded.
"Okay." I said. I did what he said and shut my eyes.
"Put your fingers in your mouth."
"Do I have to?" I said with a laugh.
"Do it, babe." Matty commanded.
I sighed and put my fingers in my mouth, feeling like a bit of an idiot.
"Now rub your clit, only a little bit."
"Mmm," I moaned quietly. I took my fingers out of my mouth, ignoring Matty's command.
"Do you like that, baby?" Matty asked.
"Y-yes." I stuttered.
"Now go a little bit faster." He said. I obeyed and moaned louder, my breath hitching in my throat, feeling myself getting closer and closer to my orgasm. I could hear Matty on the other end of the line touching himself as well.
"M-Matty." I moaned.
"I know, babe."
I came before I knew what was happening, afterwards feeling deflated and homesick.
Matty still wasn't here. This wasn't the same. He was on the other side of the world.

"It isn't the same, Matty." I sighed, feeling more alone than I ever had. This bed was so empty and cold and lifeless. I missed him so much.
"I know. I'm sorry." Matty sighed as well. I heard him walking out of the bathroom and sitting down outside his gate again.
"I miss you." I reminded him.
"I miss you too. I love you." Matty said softly.
"I love you. Be safe." I said. Just as I was about to hang up he spoke.
"Hey - six weeks." He said.
"Six weeks."