It's Never Just Goodbye // Ed Sheeran

This Isn't Just Some Game

Ed 

"You know, I regret everything I've done." Ellie stammers, pushing passed me rather hastily. I expected her to collapse into my arms, break down crying, but everything seemed a bit forced. Her shoulders were shaking as if she was crying, but no tears shown on her cheeks.

Ellie takes a seat on the couch off in the corner. She grabs the remote and makes a huge fuss trying to turn the damn television off. She throws the thing back down on the table, and it hits with a shocking thud. Her hand goes up to her mouth and she takes in a deep breath, and suddenly it feels like I'm in a movie from the 50's with the overdramatic acting.

I'm trying to understand what happened exactly. Confusion is still filling my pores up like steam from a hot shower. Still half asleep, I try to shed away the last remains of drowsiness I had.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked, kind of dreading the answer. I knew it couldn't be good.

Her lip quivered as she tried to summon more tears. Letting out a shaky breath, she replies, "Ed, I didn't mean for this to happen..."

"Just tell me what happened." I approached the situation lightly, casually. After all, maybe it had been nothing.

Maybe I'm fucking dreaming.

"-I was drinking, I didn't even realize what was happening."

"Just tell me what the hell happened..."

Her eyes averted my stare and remained their stare on the wall behind me or the floor. Nervously, she picked at a hangnail. I demanded she told me again. Almost angrily, she spat out, "I slept with someone else, Ed!"

"What?"

"I cheated on you, are you happy?"

"Why the fuck would I be happy with that?" I say almost frozen. Comprehending what she had said had begun, and it started to make my head hurt. I fell onto the bed and found myself staring off into space.

It was as if I was at the beginning of my adulthood where the other woman I loved had declared she had cheated on me. Although, now it might have been a ruse, it still stings just as it did in the beginning.

"You cheated on me?" I asked her. I don't know how this could've happened in the time I left the downstairs party and came up here. She nodded slightly before standing from her seat.

Ellie crossed over the room and collapsed onto the mattress next to me. Her thin, almost sweaty arms wrapped around my bare shoulders as she wept the most pretentious cry. Suddenly, I felt even more so as a fucking idiot, sitting here half naked.

She cried on my shoulder. Stating, "Ed, it meant nothing. I feel fucking awful for what I had done." I honestly had no words to say to her. I say in silence. "You know me Ed, I just like to have fun."

That was the whole reason why I was attracted to her. She didn't want to make the mistake of trying. She just wanted to have some fun.

"Why are you even here?" I asked her now, anger rising up within me. "You come here crying, but dance around a fake apology. Are you even sorry for what you've done?"

"I like you, Ed. I like you a lot. Of course I'm sorry for what I've done." She wipes the nonexistent tears off her rosy cheeks. "That being said, it wasn't like we were in an actual relationship."

"Bullshit!" I yelled. Standing from the bed, I couldn't stand to be around her. "We weren't a couple? Then what the hell were we?"

"We weren't anything serious..."