It's Never Just Goodbye // Ed Sheeran

It's Hard To Do These Things Alone

WARNING: CHAPTER CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT. ALSO THE USE OF DRUGS AND CRUEL LANGUAGE. JUST A QUICK WARNING! 

Also, the part in italics is a flashback since I guess people don't get that. :) 

Ed

When you say you love me

Know I love you more

And when you say you need me

Know I need you more

Girl, I adore you, I adore you

I love lying next to you

I could do this for eternity

You and me—we're meant to be

In holy matrimony

God knew exactly what he was doing

When he led me to you - Miley Cyrus 

The world, as I see it, is filled with pessimists and optimists. No in between. Although people might beg to differ; stating they are the ones who look at the glass half empty and half full, that's not how the world works. Either you see the rainy day as a negative thing or a positive thing. 

I could be pushed into the group of the in-between, I refuse to be classified as either or. I like the fact that my view on most things tend to be positive, unless I'm stricken with the effect of never coming out of a depressing episode that Alice brings upon me. I can't break through everything. 

It was Alice that taught me to stop talking shit and start appreciating the world, at least a bit more than I was originally. That night I came storming in the door, pissed off, she changed my mood. Sharing with me that we didn't have enough time to fight and that we'd better just get over it now. 

It started by asking a simple question. 

Alice: When did you first realize you loved me? 

That was the thing that made me pause. Of course I wasn't expecting it at that moment. It was rubbish, answering her, it was stupid. Especially since I was far more angry at the fact I wasted a trip. 

"Why are you so scared to fall in love?" I ended with. 

Her mouth parted slightly as if she was going to answer, but she dumbly closed it. She was stumped. Finally Alice was out of excuses or she just couldn't form an answer to such a question. 

I was right, not saying I'm always am, I just am. Alice was frightened of falling in love. Her delicate answer to the first question I'd asked was quite dubious. When did you first realize you loved me? Stating she was still undecided. No, she could've perfectly answered that question. She was decided, just scared. 

There's the odd part of it all; Alice isn't scared of much. Maybe she's scared of eating Thai food, since she finds it disgusting. Maybe she's scared of her uncle, but that's obvious. Yet, I can't name five things she's scared of. 

When we were younger, she was never afraid of her parents. Heck, she'd yell back at them when they disciplined her. Alice would sneak out her bedroom window with the skimpiest clothing on. There was this one time I think she was just daring herself to live. To live after the baby passed away. 

We were going to a party, the first one since the baby, The night that she just wanted to have fun. The night she hopped down her window and into my car. The night we broke up and made love in one night. The night we had an accident and had to walk 1.2 miles.