It's Never Just Goodbye // Ed Sheeran

Let's Try and Forget

Alice      

-twenty one weeks pregnant-

I've been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end, but on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again - Taylor Swift

     I roll out of bed with a tired feeling. I rub my eyes and try to wake up. It was already ten and I knew I would only have about fifteen minutes to get ready. I took my time though, not really caring if I'm late today. And while I had to make myself get out of my own bed, I remembered a poem I had read awhile back. Something that reminded me so much of myself at the moment. 

I wish I could stay in this bed forever. 

I wish I could forget about this pain.

I wish I could make this all go away.

All I can do is sit here and cry and hope everything will be okay.

I wish all of this was a nightmare. 

We were all once so perfect.

But everything perfect eventually comes tumbling down. 

I wish I could stay in this bed forever.

I don't really remember who had wrote it, but it had meant so much to me at the time. I had found the small piece of writing after I had lost the baby. I hadn't showed Ed it. In fact, I didn't share it with anyone. I wanted this one all for myself. 

I finally get dressed enough to go. When I do pile through my door, my mother was waiting on the foot of the stairs with a scowl on her face. I sigh and pull back my hair, so it's in a bun on the top of my head. I raise my eyebrows and she just shakes her head in a disappointed way.

These were the times I missed my father. They haven't divorced and I had no clue if they were going to or not. Yet, when I got home to stay here, he was gone. Mother said he was staying at a friends house in Wittington. I just don't get why he hasn't came to visit. I only hear from him in phone calls. 

I was shocked to hear that they did split. My mum says it's only temporarily. I knew they were thinking about it, but never in a million years, would I have thought it would actually have happened. And now, with my father and Adam gone, it's only mum and I and it's hard. 

Then I snap back to reality. Where I'm standing in the hall, trying to get past eating for the morning and splitting the house before I'm far past just late. The kind of late, where you are marked absent. 

"You have ten minutes Alice. Ten minutes to: get ready, eat, and drive to the school." Mum says. 

I roll my eyes and grab the toast off the plate she held in front of her, "Getting angry doesn't solve anything."

I pass by her in the narrow hallway. Of course she follows me with the same old lecture. I hold back my anger and try not to yell. I barged down the stairs, each step making the same thud. 

"Is Oscar picking you up?" she asks and I shake my head no, grabbing the car keys off of the counter. "He is a nice lad. Maybe you should think about-" 

"He is taken and we are just friends." I say, waving goodbye and shuffling through the door with everything in my hands. 

"Be careful!" she yells out the door and I nod to her. 

Not that I wouldn't mind dating Oscar. He was pretty good looking. The way he pushes back his brown hair and wears those geeky glasses, that make him so much more sophisticated and even more cute. Like I said; he's taken and you could say I'm still mourning over our break up. Is that right? Can you mourn over a break up?