It's Never Just Goodbye // Ed Sheeran

I Want To Be Fixed By Her

Ed

It was my fault, but I was still angry. I didn’t have to show up and play that song. Hell, I didn’t even have to perform there. It was a quick impulse that had been decided in seconds.

Being done with Alice was true. I was over her. Over her and everything that had to do with her. I had to be this time.

It ended all so quickly but that’s how I wanted things.

I also kissed Nina.

I kissed Nina in front of everyone: Alice, Oscar, people with cameras. That was also something I didn’t really think over until it was over.

I kissed her and fought with Oscar. Two things I wouldn’t have ever done if I just thought it through. Oh, and I got screamed at by my pregnant ex-girlfriend.

I praised Nina for not bringing up Alice or asking who she was. We drove back to the flat, I unlocked the door, and she quietly dragged me into the bathroom.

“Where’s the rags?” she asked and I pointed to the drawer connected to the sink. I only had two white rags curtesy of Taylor buying me a pack.  

“Here,” Nina said as she slowly pressed the wet wash cloth against my broken knuckles. “They’ll probably heal in a few days.”

I rolled my eyes. Not at her, at myself. I was so stupid. “I’m sorry, Nina.”

“I just feel bad for you, man.”

“I never fight.”

“I can tell. You had no clue what you were doing.”

Nina removed the rag from my skin and replaced it with three band aids lining the bloody knuckles easily. Swiftly, she peeled them out of their plastic and placed them gently on.

“Funny thing is, I don’t think Oscar fights often either.”

I blew on the bandages thinking it’d make the stinging go away. It didn’t.

Nina took the bloody wash cloth and tossed it in the sink before leaving the bathroom. “We need some music!” she called after her. I listened as she rummaged through the CD’s I had. Seconds later, the speakers began playing softly.

“Stevie Wonder… Nice choice.” I said as she returned.

Nina winked. Singing along to Superstition. One of my favorites by the classic.

It went quiet again between us. Less awkward than before considering music was playing instead of dead silence.

Everything was happening so quickly. From the fight, to now, it only felt like five minutes. Nina worked quickly when fixing someone wounded and it was weird that I let her. Oddly, I wanted her to fix me. Whether it was my cuts and bruises or my heart itself I had in mind, I wasn’t fully sure. I just had this strange feeling that I needed her here no matter how long I’ve known this girl.

I decided to apologize again. “I’m sorry. I know I ruined it for you.”

“Ruined what?”

“You’re first performance.”

“No you didn’t. I had fun.”

I laughed before saying, “It was my first fight ever and I fucking hammered him.”

“I don’t think that’s how fighters word it. You’re a street gangster now, Ed. That’s how people will see you! You kicked ass, so now you’ll have to talk with slang.” Nina declared sarcastically.