It's Never Just Goodbye // Ed Sheeran

The Moment I Knew

Alice 

-twenty six weeks pregnant- 

And it was like slow motion,

Standing there in my party dress,

In red lipstick,

With no one to impress,

And they're all laughing,

As I'm looking around the room,

But there's one thing missing,

And that was the moment I knew - Taylor Swift

Look around. Maybe you're just looking in all the wrong places. Stay calm. You're thinking too much into this. 

I looked around for the millionth time. He was nowhere in sight. My heart was already shattering. No one. No one except him could pick my spirits up right now. 

Look around. 

  Before The Party:   

 It was coming up. My twenty-first birthday. This extravagant thing I've been waiting for since I was thirteen. Of course it wasn't just this number to me, not some throw off age that quickly passed me by. In my parent's eyes, I'd finally be a full adult. 

It was when I had just turned into a teenager and I wanted to do something, to which I don't remember even now, and both my mother and father said no. I think it was egging the neighbor's house. (I had a great reason for it, too. The boy who lived there called me a ton of names. I had a legitimate reason to)

I had asked the simple, "Why can't I do anything I want?" 

"You can when you're an adult..." my mother started and my dad finished with, "Well, things that are considered legal." and they both laughed there heads off. That was when they were both peachy with each other. Not bored of the simple sex they shared every time Adam and I were away at a friends house. Every Saturday night. In a weird, gross way, they had it planned. 

"When will I be an adult." 

"When you're twenty one, maybe. That's when my mum considered me fully grown." 

I wasn't some silly 'teen' anymore. Even if I wanted to, I could move out now. Not that I couldn't before. Actually thinking back, I didn't have very strict parents. They would basically let me leave and go to Amsterdam if I felt like it. Not that I wanted to. I was happy staying exactly where I was. Maybe egging the neighbor's house was just out there for them. 

Although it was my first birthday as a grown adult, I was to have a birthday party. Accompanied by my mother, I would throw a fancy, fun party with my closet friends and family there. Yet, I was to tell them not to bring me baby things. Not until the actual baby shower. 

It was me who decided that. The night, which was only a week away, it was to be my night. Even though it's kind of brought down by not being able to drink and/or party, I was to have a good time. A good time with my old good friends. 

"Who's all coming?" Ed asked over the phone. His voice had me in a bundle again. The way his voice seemed raspy because he was tired. But with my insomnia, he stayed awake. Sexy. 

"I've sent about forty invitations out. Maybe less." 

I actually sent Ed one, too. I sent them to Stuart, his manager, who will hand it over to Ed. Truth was, I didn't care who came. I just wanted Ed there. I wasn't with him on his, that's one of the reasons he needs to be here. It'll be like a celebration of both of our birthday's.