It's Never Just Goodbye // Ed Sheeran

The Dinner That'll Change Everything

Alice

I can't close an eye, can't close an eyelid, and now there's just no point, in reaching out for you- Tegan and Sara

I watched him from a distance. It took every nerve in my body to resist sprinting from there and going back to the room. I wanted so much for him to see me. I wanted his eyes to catch mine and we'd both know that we're supposed to be together. 

The night before I had called him...I know. I said how much I loved him, but I thought maybe my heart was playing tricks. When I changed my picture on my phone, I thought I was done. I could have swore that I would be able to forget about him by then. Hell, I had Oscar...why did I need Ed? I know why. Seeing him now, his orange hair and red hood, it makes me want to laugh. 

Why do I want to just crack up? I don't know. I find it funny that he is here, though. Like, why? If Taylor and Ed were here for a concert, they wouldn't come stay at a spa. They'd spend their time at a hotel that's near the stadium. I wonder who he came with or if he even came with anyone. 

I feel like a spy, just like the ones  I wanted to be when I was younger. Like when I went through my Harriet the Spy days. Here I was hiding behind a gold, leather couch, only my eyes peaking out. If only my ten year old self could see me now. She'd probably fall out of her chair laughing. 

Come a little closer, Ed, I though to myself. I was trying to gain up the nerve to go up to him. I mean, hell, he was standing in the biscuit line. The line that I was supposed to be in. It could be a total coincidence. He'd think I was following him, I know it. Plus, I also know he doesn't want to see me. 

Also the fact he's in line to get free cookies made me want to laugh, too. We're just alike. 

Instead of bending down, I move to my knees. My stomach starts moving and the little boy kicks. My hand finds the small spot where his feet rested. 

I whisper, "You feel it to, huh? You know your daddy..." 

Ed turns around for a moment and I duck down lower. His eyes catch something and I follow his stare. A cat book was in one of the aisles for a store in the lobby. His eyes trace over the lettering and I giggle to myself. 

"Um, are you okay?" I jump, and fall flat on my bum. I turn and look up at a bloke with a maroon hat on. His smile widens as he see's my flustered look. 

"Uh, oh, me? Yeah, I'm fine." I nod. His hand goes out to help me up and I take it, quickly. I'm still glancing at Ed as I speak to him. "Thanks, I was just looking for something..." 

He chuckles, "Like what? Your mental stability?" 

I slap him on the shoulder and give a fake, but playful laugh. "That was funny. Um, no a quarter for um," I scan the area. "a biscuit." 

"A cookie?"  I nod and he laughs again. "But there free." 

"Oh! I'm an idiot." I say, scrambling to find my saneness."Um, well, I'm just going to go back that way." I point to the hall where my room is from. "It was real nice to meet you." 

"Yeah, nice to meet you, too!" he calls after me. 

I start jogging to the elevators. Once I reached the hallway where my room stood, I was all out of breath. My feet hit the ground hard, almost like I was stomping, making the long corridor with the stretched, blue carpet echoe. My ears were ringing and my heart was fluttering still from seeing Ed. He was here. He was actually here. 

Why was he here, though? Who was here with? Did he even know I was here? Maybe he was coming to proclaim his love for me. 

I was pounding on the hotel door, praying Oscar was awake or hadn't left at all, considering I didn't even have a key. And when a weary-eyed Oscar opened the door, I jumped into his arms and pulled him into a hug. He gives a tiny laugh and pushes back his sweaty hair and eyes me suspiciously.