It's Never Just Goodbye // Ed Sheeran

Sad and Broken

Ed

I stumbled out of the bedroom afterwards. Rubbing my eyes and trying to find some type of stability. “You okay, Eddie?” A smiling Kimberly asked me. She sat at the kitchen table of the trashed house, painting her toenails, while everyone else slept on the couches and around the floor. Her feet up on the table.

“Yeah.” I stated. My stomach was reeling and my shoulders felt weighed down – as if a ton of bricks were piled on me. I slugged along and fell into a chair across from her. “Just tired.”

“Me, too. I haven’t even slept yet.” Then she smiled again and shrugged. “I guess I’ll just sleep on the plane.”

“Fun night, huh?”

She nodded. “Alice left soon after she put you in that room.” She blew on her wet toes and started working on her other foot. I sat back and crossed my arms over my chest; eyeing her, and wondering what she was thinking. “It was such a shame. It would’ve been fun for all of us if she just stayed.”

I shook my head, thinking about it. “I said stupid shit last night.”

“You always know how to make her flustered.”

I shake my head. Picking at my ripped boxers. I say, “She makes me crazy, too.”

“I really think you two should get back together.” Kim refused to look at me. Letting the brush of the red paint glide across her nails. I heard someone stirring from the bedroom, but she kept on talking. “You guys know each other so well already. You know each other’s weaknesses and downfalls and you know how to deal with them… I don’t know.”

“I don’t know, either.”

She looked up at me innocently and admitted, “I just want our group of friends to go back to normal.”

“It has never been normal.” I retort.

She rolls her eyes, “I know… Back to how it was then.”

“I have Nina.”

Kim giggles sarcastically, “Even after last night? I saw your little fight. It was brutal – and sad…for her, at least.” I stay silent. James saunters in, kisses his wife on the cheek, and opens the fridge. “I think it’s over between you two, buddy.”

“It’s not over.” I mumble. “She said she was just taking a cab back to my flat, so we can talk it out today.”

Kim purses her lips, “She isn’t the one for you, Eddie. She may be nice now, but you’ll only hurt you in the end. She’s too young.”

I left the scene at six in the morning; half stoned and half asleep. The CD she had made for the drive playing softly at first until I cranked it up to wake me up. “Wake up.” I demanded of myself.

She was laying on the couch when I opened the flat’s door. Her bags packed and against the wall. Her head shot up and she pushed herself to sit up. “I need money for a taxi. I’ll pay you back.”

“What?” I asked. Throwing my own things down on the love seat. Wiping my eyes on the back of my hand, I say, “Just sit down.”

Her eyes gave her away. She was pretending to be mad, but every other emotion was present instead. Pools were her eyes, and sadness coexisted as the water.

“You’re selfish, you know that right?” she had called me this multiple times and I’m finally coming to contact with the fact that I was really selfish. She really meant what she said. That was a trait she could identify with me and I hated that. “You take and take and take from me and you pull this shit. Leaving me with nothing.”