It's Never Just Goodbye // Ed Sheeran

Is That a Family Name?

Ed

Nina wakes before me. When I open my eyes, she's staring at me from the other bed. Hair wet from a shower and new clothes on. The dark circles are darker than before and she wears no makeup. "Morning sunshine." She says. Voice raspy.

"Good morning."

"I'm hungry and your mum left an hour ago to visit with her friends. Your brother and dad are gone, too. I don't feel right making anything to eat without anyone down there with me." Then, she realizes how serious her voice is and adds in a small laugh. "I would probably burn the house down."

"Okay." I stretch and roll off the bed.

She pushes herself off the bed and I hear her feet pad down across the wooden floor. I roll off the bed and follow her down stairs. Outside, more snow falls.

She stands by the fridge and looks over at me. I stare at her, trying to find something that would prove that last night and what she said was real. Her eyes reflect pain - and quickly, she pushes it away. Nina says, "Look, just forget everything I said last night." She makes herself smile. "I was pretty drunk."

"I'm just-I," I didn't want to say worried, but I was. I hated to think about her being any other way than content. "I don't know, Nina."

"I can see it written all over your face. You're worried, I know that, but you can stop. I am fine. Amazing, even. I have you and fans and I'm fine."

"Okay..." I say, but I don't believe. "Okay. I'll drop it."

She opens the refrigerator, pulls out leftover mashed potatoes, and grabs a spoon. Taking a bite of cold potatoes, she says, "We're all out of egg nog. I wonder if your mum will pick up more."

It infuriated me some that she didn't want to discuss this when we're sober. That all she cared about was egg nog. I shake my head, "No. She doesn't like it..."

"Maybe for us." She says, hopeful.

"Oh,"

"Stop!" Nina declares. Dropping the spoon loudly on the counter. "Stop acting like what I said affected you at all! It's my life and I have to deal with it, so you do too." She stops, sighs, and refrains from being so forward. "Listen, I'm sorry. If I said I'm fine, I'm fine. I hate seeing you worry or upset about what I said. Really - none of it even matters."

"I'm sorry," I stammer, sitting down at the kitchen table.

The corner of her lips turn up gradually, then fall, "We need some egg nog."

"Okay..."

"Go get some."

"Why don't you?" I ask and that earns a smile from her.

She sighs, "I have a massive migraine and I'm eating. Two valid reasons why I shouldn't have to go out into the cold..."

"You're the one who wants it so bad."

"Ed, I'm currently busy."

"Then go after you're done."

She narrows her eyes at me jokingly, "I don't even know where the store is. I'm not going. Especially by myself."

"Then I'll wait for you to be done and you can come with me." I say.

"Ed, just go!" She's smiling now. All teeth. "And pick up some aspirin."

With my pajama pants still on, I slip my sneakers on and a coat. Glancing out the window, I dread going out there in the snow. I sigh, "You're lucky I like you, Nesbitt." I grab my keys, loop them around my finger, and open the front door. The wave of cold hitting me.