It's Never Just Goodbye // Ed Sheeran

We'd Go Anywhere Our Minds Would Take Us

Ed

And stay up all night like when we needed to sleep

We'd go anywhere, our minds would take us - Ed Sheeran

She ran up the stairs. Her hair bouncing off her back with every step. I followed closely behind, listening to her laugh and smiling to myself.

Her outfit was pieced together perfectly. After hours on the train, she still looked like a masterpiece. From her boots to her sweater and the headband that resembled cat ears, everything was in order.

I dug in my pocket for the key and unlocked the door. It being the first time since I had been here since the night I flipped out, I was nervous. I was back at the scene of the crime. Expecting a mess from my freak out, the flat was clean.

The couches back in place. Things I threw at the walls or smashed on the floor all swept up. Even the markings and scraping on the walls were brushed off and left with only a tiny smudge.

She had cleaned up before she left. And it made me feel worse.

“You didn’t have to do that.” I said. Turning up the thermostat.

Nina pulled the sweater over her head. Only left in a basic black top. She rolled her eyes and smiled, “All good. The only thing I didn’t clean was the bathroom.”

Nina headed for the stairs with her suitcase rolling behind her. With a thump every step, she took the stairs up to the room we shared. I found myself in the bathroom.

I pushed the wooden door open and found the pictures scattered across the tile. The box in an empty heap in the bathtub. Untouched.

I picked up each one from the floor and tossed them into the box without even looking. Then, without hesitation, I threw the pictures and the broken box into the hall closet.

“All good.” I said to myself quietly. Grabbing my own bag and stumbled up the stairs to Nina. And too her, I said, “All good.” Before I let her kiss me and we let the moment unfold. Our worries disappearing completely. The feelings we felt filling the time with endless amounts of drifting from hour to hour.

From standing in the middle of my bedroom, lips slightly parted and pressed together. To the moment I laid her back on the bed and slept the late morning and afternoon away. It didn’t matter what we did as long as we were next to oneanother.

We found ourselves to be stuck in routine. Picking up the pieces from the last visit together and putting the broken puzzle back together. Every night was a different movie, but the same bed. It didn’t matter what movie we put on because we talked during the entire thing. And laughed or cried or threw popcorn at each other across the bed.

Tonight was different. Nina was frusterated.

My eyes were wide open. Even as the time hit three in the morning, I was fine. Having slept all day. I was smoking my fifth cigarette in an hour and Nina was on her first. Bottles of alcohol and food laid out between us. Dirty Dancing playing in the background.

“She treats me like a child.” She said. Air around us like a dragon’s cave. It wasn’t clear to me how we ended up on the parent topic, but I went with it. After all, I understood everything Nina said. It took years before my mum and dad finally let me go.

“I know the feeling.” I stated.

“I want to run away…”

“Yeah?”