The Decision || h.s.

Chapter 15: Frustration

Chapter 15: Frustration

*POV: Harry*

I can’t believe I almost kissed Snow.

I swear it was a spur of the moment thing.

Who am I kidding? Who am I trying to convince? Myself? Yeah, that won’t work. I’ve already admitted to myself that I fancy her. Of course I wanted to kiss her. Should I have went in for it like that? No.

We both are in serious relationships. She has Zach and I have Taylor. Now she’s going to hate me. I know how she gets with the whole cheating thing. She goes into the self-blame and she’ll just relapse back to the days of Ash which I don’t want her to do. I worked so hard to just get her out of that place. I can’t have her going back there.

I tie my hair back on top of my head to keep it out of my face. I take over my appearance and I’m pleased. I’m just in my normal black skinny jeans, brown boots, and band tee. I’ll be grabbing my coat in a moment though. Niall texted me about how awkward things were getting back there without us. I didn’t want him to go through that, any of them for a matter of fact.

That’s when Snow enters the room and my breath is taken away. She’s just in black skinny jeans herself, a white tee with some designs on it and a plaid button-up. Her hair is tied up in a tight bun due to the wetness of her hair and her make-up is done nicely. She’s wearing all of her jewelry too.

Why is she taking my breath away?

I don’t want to have these thoughts about her. They didn’t work out last time and I don’t want to risk it again. It just isn’t worth it. At all.

“You should um, pack. We’re leaving after we eat,” I tell her and she frowns, obviously not wanting to leave yet. I don’t blame her ‘cos I don’t want to either. I miss my family and I hardly ever get to see them, with the exception of Gemma. She tends to tour with us occasionally. I just don’t want to leave yet. Snow sees them even less than I do and I feel bad. We need to go though.

“Why?” she asks innocently as she begins packing up her bag. She slides on some socks to cover her freezing feet, slipping on her combat boots right after.

“Niall called. Things aren’t going so great,” I chuckle dryly at the end. Her eyes widen.

“I’m so sorry about Odette. We’ll be out soon enough. She just-” she rants. I cut her off though, “Odette didn’t do anything, I think. Things are just awkward and tense I guess.” She sighs in relief at my response, nodding. We head down the stairs together, not saying a word due to the tension that’s rising between us again. I don’t want it back. I just want to know what exactly is on her mind so I know how to fix it.

“Here ya go,” Mum says as we enter the kitchen. She hands the both of us a plate and kisses our cheeks. We both just flush as we sit down and eat up the food we created. I smile at the memory, happy that we were getting along for once even though it was only moments ago. Now we just have to tiptoe around each other and it’s infuriating. I just want things to be normal between us again, but normal is long gone.

“How’d you guys sleep?” Snow asks after taking a bite of her pancakes. I roll my eyes at how polite she’s being around them. It’s not like she hasn’t known them her how life or anything. Yet, they still reply with lovely’s and good’s. I just smirk.

“Well a certain someone woke me up at an ungodly, but other than that brilliant,” I remind her and she turns beat red. She throws some of her non-syruped pancake at me and I just laugh at her. I watch as everyone’s eyes widen at our exchange, just making me laugh more.

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t sleep. I won’t wake you next time,” she pouts and I toss the pancake back at her.

“Enough,” Mum says in a light tone, referring to our food throwing. Gems is just laughing her ass off along with I. Robin is obviously holding back a smirk while my mum just feels sympathy for Snow. She immediately changes the subject.

“When’re you guys leaving?” she asks and the atmosphere changes. Both Snow and I tense up, glancing at each other, but I know she won’t say anything. It’s not in her personality to speak up during tense situations like this.

“Actually after breakfast. The lads are having a hard time with Snow’s friends,” I tell them and my mother’s smile immediately disappears. She tries to bring it back to mask her disappointment, but it’s too late. Guilt creeps inside of me and I want to run away like I used to as a child.

“Oh,” is all she mutters.

“It’s just a bit awkward since they don’t know each other. Plus we have a plan flight to catch tomorrow,” Snow adds trying to smooth everything. I admit that what I said probably didn’t make sense. My mum just nods.

“It’s fine. It’s just not often that I get to see my baby,” Mum almost sobs and my heart breaks a little bit, making me want to do anything that I can to fix the situation.

“I’ll be back soon though mum. I’m just going to stay until Zayn’s birthday and then I’ll be back home,” I explain and she smiles.

“It’s fine dear. I’m just not used to you being away all the time. So grown up,” she informs me and I kiss her cheek, losing my appetite. I can tell Snow has lost hers too by the way she stares at her meal blankly. She forces bite after bite down her throat though, like I probably should be doing.

“I’m going to go, uh load the car,” Snow dismisses herself and hurries up the stairs after putting her empty plate in the sink. I don’t blame her.

“I better go help her before she breaks something,” I groan and dismiss myself quickly as well. I just don’t know what to say. I see Snow walking around the room, reorganizing her things to waste time. I knock on the door to make her aware of my presence. She doesn’t move, just sighs and zips her bag up. I take a seat next to her and just lie on the bed. She falls next to me.

“You okay?” she asks me after a moment. I sigh and look over at her.

“The question is are you okay, ya know, from earlier?” I ask her. I’ll get over this, but I don’t want her relapsing. She looks away from me.

“I don’t want to talk about that right now. The only thing that matters is if you’re okay with everything that just happened with your family,” she says and I love that she’s so concerned. She’s always been this way.

“Yeah. We’ll be fine. I’m okay as long as-” I begin, but am soon cut off by her loud groan.

“Yeah I’m fine, okay? We’re okay. Just don’t try anything again and we’ll be okay,” she almost snaps.

“Snow, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for anything to happen,” I try to explain.

“It’s no big deal. Just drop it, yeah? I’m going to go say bye to I’m going to go say bye to your family,” she says grabbing her bag and hurrying down the stairs. I slightly scream into the pillow at the mess I’ve made. I shouldn’t of let my hormones get out of control like that.

I could’ve sworn she wanted to kiss me back though.

~

A/N: Next chapters are still a bit confusing as well.

Bear with me, editing takes time

Alex xx