The Decision || h.s.

Chapter 40: Destressing

Chapter 40: Destressing  

*POV: Snow*

Harry is upset with me and at this moment in time, I couldn’t care less. I know that he just wants to help and make sure that I’m safe, but I am safe. I’m not quitting my job just because I made some dumb decisions. They are working with me on this whole thing and that’s going to make everything okay.

Right now, my biggest concern is Mr. Green. I don’t want to talk to him, but he’s the next class that I have my tutoring with. I’m tempted to just be a no show, but I don’t want to lose my chance of graduating because I created some awkward tension with a teacher.

Sighing, I enter his class, noticing him at his desk grading papers. All that I can seem to remember was the way that I blew up at him and the surprised look on his face before I went home and cried. Instead of running away again, I take a deep breath and approach him.

“Hi. I’m here for tutoring,” I say softly, trying to sound confident, but it isn’t really working out. The surprise that shows on Mr. Green’s face is noticeable at the sight of me. He didn’t think I’d come back either.

“Snow. Alright. Let me find the lesson plan and I’ll go over it with you,” he tells me, scrambling through a bunch of papers. I nod, going to the back table where we were the last time. I take a seat, throwing my bag on the floor. I wait impatiently for him to join me, glad when he actually does. I just want to get this over and done with.

He starts going over the lesson with me, making sure that I understand what he’s talking about. All I know is that he’s babbling on about the world war with Hitler and his allies with Stalin or something. My mind is kind of preoccupied. The lesson goes by quite quickly and I’m glad because I don’t want to be faced with the awkwardness between us any longer.

“Snow?” Mr. Green asks as I stand up. I really hope that it’s a question about the lesson, but I know that it probably isn’t. I’m not that dumb. I sit back down, looking at him expectantly.

“Who else knows about what you’ve told me last time?” he asks me. I want to play dumb and act like I don’t know what the fuck he’s talking about, but I know that won’t get me anywhere.

“Just you, Harry, Niall, Louis, Madelyne and the guy who did it,” I gulp. I don’t even like mentioning his name anymore.

“Who’s the guy that did this to you?”

“Nobody important,” I nearly snap. I don’t want to get this personal.

“Have you ever thought to tell the police? How long ago did this happen?” he asks me looking truly concerned.

“It happened all the way back in January, too long ago to mention anything to the police, not that they’d listen any way,” I remark, deciding that I’m going to be honest. Mr. Green is a good person and helps me whenever I need it. I don’t want to lie to him, he doesn’t deserve that.

“What made you think that they wouldn’t listen?” he asks me. I’m starting to think that he’s genuinely concerned.

“Because everyone says that they’re raped now a days and I don’t want to be just another social casualty pretty much. They’d think that I was lying and wouldn’t believe me. It wouldn’t be worth my time,” I say nearly crying. My eyes are watery, about to start flowing down my cheeks.

“Of course they would have taken it seriously. It’s a serious topic and they would at least have to do a formal investigation. Might I ask, when did you get pregnant?” Mr. Green attempts at comforting.

“In January. They’re about four and a half months old now, nearly five,” I tell him.

“Is there any chance that the babies are the belongings of this guy?”

“Yeah, but I’ve decided that I would keep them anyway,” I explain.

“You can still go to the police you know, especially if they’re his,” Mr. Green tells me. I know that tears are spilling down my cheeks silently.

“If you can’t tell yet, I’m not one that likes attention,” I joke, knowing that I’m getting way more attention than I need since Harry told people about us. Everybody knows my name and where I live. I get a few weird encounters at the grocery store and surprised gasps at the fact that I’m pregnant. I couldn’t even imagine how big of a blow up it would be if the world found out that Harry Styles’ girlfriend was raped.

“This attention could help you though,” he tries telling me.

“I know, but I don’t think I’m ready for it. I should really get going though. I have things I need to go and do,” I lie. I don’t have anything to do, but nap and homework. I just don’t want to be here and talk about this any longer.

“Okay. I’ll see you our next lesson then,” he tells me and I nod, standing up. I wave goodbye at him as he does the same with me. I wipe away the tears that had been streaming down my face, recollecting myself as I walk down the hallway.

“Jesus. So it is true,” someone says and I stop, turning around to see a familiar face. A sharp pain pierces through me at the sight.

“What’s true?” I ask.

“You’re pregnant and with twins?” she asks. I just roll my eyes.

“Yeah, not that you would care any way Madelyne. I haven’t fixed anything about my life so why should it matter?” I nearly snap. I’ve missed her so much and I thought that I would just break down in tears at the thought that she’s talking to me again, but in reality, all I feel towards her is anger. She fucking left me when I needed her the most. She thinks I’m stupid and immature and that she’s better than me. Well, if she’s still in that mind frame then she can just go suck off James.

“I still care about you Snow. Hell, you’ve been my best friend since birth. I didn’t think that this fight was so serious,” she says a bit annoyed.

“Not serious? You called me stupid and dumb because I didn’t know how to deal with something tragic that happened to me. Then you left me alone in the middle of a parking lot when I needed you to go back to class. Fucking school is more important to you than whatever the hell I was going through. I’m not saying that that’s a bad thing, but you could’ve missed one class to help me and you wouldn’t even sacrifice that. You just called me stupid and walked away, saying that you practically didn’t want to see me again,” I rant out of breath. This is too much serious topics to talk about in one day. I don’t want to end up in the hospital again.

“That’s because you were being dumb! You can’t just switch schools because you don’t like someone. That’s just retarded,” she tells me and I glare at her.

“You’re an inconsiderate bitch. How would you have handled the situation huh? I stayed like you suggested and now I’m so stressed out that it’s nearly harming the babies,” I almost snap. I guess I never realized until now how paranoid I am that I will run in to him in the hallways or something. I guess I’m just so used to it that it doesn’t phase me anymore.

“What do you mean?” she asks me.

“I almost had a miscarriage last night. I shouldn’t even be here, but school is important to me too,” I say, breaking down a bit again. I’m not going to let her see me how destroyed and broken I am partially due to her.

“Ohmygod are you okay? Are the babies okay?” she asks suddenly concerned. I know she’s only doing it though because she wants to be in these babies’ lives. She has always wanted a child to be around and now I’m having two. That’s the only reason why she’s trying to mend things. She doesn’t give a shit about me or the rape.

“We’re fine,” I snap, sitting on the floor. I’m legit so out of breath that can’t stand anymore. I haven’t got my nap yet making me exhausted.

“I’m so sorry. I had no clue,” she tells me.

“Of course you didn’t,” I reply as she comes to sit down next to me.

“I don’t want us to fight anymore,” she tells me.

“Yeah. Me too.”