The Decision || h.s.

Chapter 17: History

Chapter 17: History

*POV: Harry*

I begin pacing in my room, thinking of possible solutions to my dilemma. I didn’t really think that there was one other than what almost happened, but we fixed that. Then this lass, Alee, comes along and I’m realizing things that I don’t want to realize.

I never loved Taylor.

It was all an illusion.

I don’t really know what love is. You can’t fucking fancy someone else if you’re in love with someone. It just doesn’t work that way. All I know is that I fancy Snow. There’s no doubt about that and my feelings for Taylor are lessening.

This shouldn’t be happening. It can’t be happening. Why can’t things just be normal like when we were younger again? We could date whoever we wanted without getting jealous or having to worry about the other getting jealous because we didn’t feel this way for each other.

It’ll never be that way again though.

Just thinking about her and Zach together makes me see red. It’s not a feeling that I like. I mean, yeah, I disliked the guy beforehand. Something just never sat right with me about him. But now that I know my true feelings, just the thought of him kissing her makes me want to vomit. It’s not a nice feeling at all.

I know it’s definitely hypocritical of me, considering that I’m with Taylor. I shouldn’t be mad at her for being with Zach when I’m with someone else too. That just makes everything impossible. Nothing could ever happen between us no matter how much I wanted something too. Just thinking of maybe even possibly being able to kiss Snow makes me want to kidnap her and drag her down the hall to my room, break-up with Taylor immediately.

What is happening to me? I don’t normally have such thoughts as these. Why am I suddenly this hormonal teenager that just wants to make-out with my best mate and who knows, maybe even more.

I don’t just want to kiss her and stuff either too, just mostly. I want her to just come and cuddle with me, watch movies. I want to take her places. I want to show her the world. I want to just talk like old days and relax. She’s my sweet escape.

Before I even know what I’m doing, I open my bedroom door, closing it silently. I find my feet dragging me to her bedroom where I know that she’ll probably be asleep. I just really want to talk to her right now, about anything.

I’m in for a bit of a surprise though when I see Zayn pacing back and forth between her room and his. I run my hand through my hair, coughing a bit to make myself known. I watch his head snap towards me and I’m legit terrified for my life. He looks possessed, like he could be in one of the ghost shows where you don’t live in the end.

“You okay mate?” I question, not taking any steps further.

“We all know I haven’t been for awhile,” he responds, his voice soft, not mixing well with his features, misleading me.

“Wanna talk about it?” I ask stepping a bit closer. I notice now that the only reason he looked so terrifying before was because his cheeks were stained with tears, his eyes puffy and red. Immediately that tragic night at the hospital comes back to mind.

“I wouldn’t mind if somebody would listen to me. I don’t even know if Snow will. She looked at me like I did something wrong earlier,” he says running his fingers through his hair and just collapsing onto the floor. I move my body next to his, a sudden course of guilt running through my body. I’m acting like I have the biggest problem in the world when in reality Zayn has it so much worse.

“They called today,” he says peaking my interest. Zayn usually calls them once a week, to check her condition. Not once have they called to keep him informed on her well-being.