Number 13: The Door With The Cat Flap.

Chapter 4: What are you? A doctor?

So we all sat there, the four of us just watching each other. I couldn't get over the fact that they so utterly believed their own joke. I mean they turn up out of nowhere, looking like run away models, and out of all the other people in Peckham they ask me and Emily to come and live with them. I mean really? Is this a joke? Well they certainly didn't look like a joke.

Two can play at that game, If they want to have a little fun then who am I to ruin it, I'll go along with their little trick cook their goose good and proper.

Emily was just as dumb struck as I was at first, but she soon got over it.

We shared glances at each other – knowing exactly what each other was thinking – she was going to go along with it too.

So I stood up from the table, the chair scraping across the tiled flooring (goes right through me every time) and walked over to the sink so casually as if I didn't have a care in the world yea right!

I emptied the remaining watered down vodka down the sink. And turned to look at them all watching me, like I was the one who made the decisions around here (I'd love to know when I was made boss of both mine and Emily's life)

I couldn't help but snigger "you really want to take us to America?"

The man – who had said his name was Carlisle, never heard of that one before – looked like he was about to say something, but then his wife (apparently) jumped in before him.

"Yes" she said all high pitched and happy, like she'd just agreed to going on a day trip to the local theme park. I mean what were these people on!Coz' whatever it is, I want in.

"Right" Em snorted, clearly making her disbelief of this situation clear.

"we really would like you to come with us - stay with us" she corrected herself "it can't be easy for you both to take this in, I understand but please consider it"

Oh we'd considered it alright lady, we're playing along remember?

I opened up the cabinet above the kitchen counter, and got down our special biscuit tin, I say special because quite frankly this tin has never seen a biscuit in its entire life.

Just mine and Emily's special stuff (yes I know our lovely stash of pot, as bad as it might be)

I jumped up on the counter, got out the tobacco wrapping, along with everything else needed to make your day a little easier, and started rolling myself a little 'pick me up' coz' god I needed it.

Carlisle got out of his chair then, and stood opposite me leaning against the counter, it really didn't look natural for him - maybe that's what you get if you're brought up in posh houses, got your beloved mother and father always reminding you never to slouch and chew with your mouth closed – but whatever.

"You know you really shouldn't be smoking that? Or cigarette's come to that, it's bad for your health and you're so young."

I narrowed my eyes at him squinting furiously, it usually works when I want people to piss off and leave me alone, but this man didn't even seem fazed.

"What are you a Doctor now?"

"yes I am actually"

The smug bastard just owned me! So I brought the rollie up to my lips and light it anyway, just to piss him off.

"They wouldn't even let us into your country anyway, let alone live there" Emily's stretched out on the kitchen chair, slamming her foot down on the one that I'd a bit like a cat really.

I took another drag and blew out the smoke (it really was lovely stuff)

"yea what with our criminal records and everything!" me and em both laughed at that, I mean we hardly had the cleanest of reputations.

"We'd like it if you came with us straight away" I gotta' give it to that Doc, he really did look genuine, but then so do a lot of people when they're lying through their teeth.

"Well…" I lifted my leg out in front of me and waggled my foot at him "im not off tag for another two weeks, so unfortunately i won't be able to" I smiled, not a nice smile, one that clearly says 'ha bitch'

"that's ok sweetie" hold the fort! Since when was I. Kate? Ever a sweetie? "Im sure that if we talk with them, they might let you off early, if we explain that we want to adopt you." She smiled and I swear I nearly fell off the counter top, Emily nearly toppled back in her chair, and I think our next door neighbour might have had a heart attack if she'd been listening with her ear up against the wall again.

"Well… you do that" that's the best I could come up with.

We showed them the door, and waved them off (back to the nut house) wishing them luck with their talks with my parole officer. (All of it of course was false wishes)

We were told to pack what we needed to take with us, and that they would be back first thing in the morning.

And pack we did, I mean if a joke's worth going along with, it's worth going along with properly. We packed 4 suitcases each! I didn't even know I had that much crap.

We packed all our shit into our bags, and our flat really did look bare, all of the character it once had was gone and there wasn't a lot of that to start with, so now it looked worse than ever.