Number 13: The Door With The Cat Flap.

Chapter 30: Cold shoulder

I thought that maybe by the time we'd gotten to his house he would have spoken to me.

But no! Nothing, just complete silence all the way home.

And silence when we were in the house too. He just walked in, sat down on the sofa and started watching sport on the TV. He just blanked me completely.

I'd only had one hotdog at the party, and then I struggled to eat it, so I was hungry now.

"Mind if I make myself a sandwich?" he didn't even answer me. Well after all the times that Esme had fed him, im sure he wouldn't mind me making myself a damn sandwich.

I took me ages to find all the things that in needed in the kitchen, and all the time I was still getting the cold shoulder.

I couldn't help worrying; what if he was going to split up with me? What if it was the stuff id said about Bella with Leah? What if it was the fact that I physically hissed? Was he fed up with me not being the girl that he fell in love with? Didn't he want me anymore after Shawn had his hands on me? GOD! I can't take this anymore.

I took my sandwich into the living room and sat down next to Jacob, who the whole time I tried to eat– ignored me.

I thought I wanted something to eat, but the more I tried to eat it, the more I didn't want it. But I was still hungry. Maybe Esme would make me something to eat.

I stood up and walked over to the front door, and pulled on my boots. I could feel Jacob's eyes burning into my back. Then I walked over to the window and peeked out. It was dark. And if I was going to go home, I'd have to walk. I was better now, but maybe not better enough to go walking around at night.

But when I looked at Jacob, he just clapped his eyes at me and turned back to the tv.

Well better or not, I was gonna' have to walk it.

"Well it's been a lovely night – while it lasted Jake, but im going home. I don't quite fancy watching you ignore me all night over nothing, so I'll Leave you to sit here and stew" I mumbled the last bit.

"What, you think this is over nothing!" he shouted and threw the remote across the room.

I wasn't going to stand for this!

"Well what the hell have I done? If you're gonna' finish with me then just do it!" I hissed again and both me and Jacob were shocked.

"I can't believe what you said Kate!" he growled.

"What you mean that you can't believe i insulted your precious Bella, is that it Jake?"

He marched over to me, and I backed up against the front door the instant my back hit the door, I was snapped back to the night in the bathroom with Shawn, and I just instantly braced myself for a blow. But when it didn't come, and I opened my eyes I realised where I was and slowly looked up at Jacob. Who – you have to hand it to him – looked ashamed.

"What did I say that was so terrible Jake?" my voice gave everything away; my fear my hurt that he was treating me like this. You just can't trust your own body.

He ran his hands through his thick hair.

"You said you didn't want to have kids…" he looked so upset.

"Yea, what's wrong with that?" I looked up at him.

"What's wrong with that? What's wrong with that? Im the alpha of my pack, I have to have children to pass on that role too."

"So that's it then, just keeping the genes flowing" I nodded "Charming Jake really." I stepped around him, grabbing his hoodie. "it's nice to know that you didn't want them, just for the chance to have kids."

"No, that's not what I meant!" he grabbed my arm "Im an Alpha, I have to have kids. But I also want them"

"Well, go find someone to impregnate then. Maybe one of those girls that you 'fucked and chucked' will want to give you a child!" I snapped at him, and pulled my arm away.

"No, it has to be you kate…"

I spun round to face him I couldn't hold it back any longer "WELL I DON'T WANT A BABY! IM 18 FOR GOD SAKE JAKE! AND YOUR ONLY 20!" he just stood there staring at me. I calmed myself down and continued "im just 18, I can't have a baby now. That doesn't mean I don't want a baby in the future. Just not now..."

"But you said – you said you didn't want a baby" he stepped closer to me.

"No, I said I didn't want one now. That's what they were all talking about. Not the future"

"But I thought – wait, so you do want children?"

"Yes" I sighed "Doesn't everyone? Just not now that's all"

"Im so sorry Kate" he pulled me to him "Im so sorry I've been such an idiot. I thought, I don't know what I thought. Im sorry, please"

"It's ok" I mumbled into his chest. Was it? Maybe it was. "It doesn't mean we can't practice making them though…" did I just say that? Fuck sake. 

He pulled me over to the sofa with him and sat me down. Then he actually took my boots off for me and threw them towards the door.

"Are you sure? I mean do feel ok about it?" he couldn't keep the grin off his face.

I blushed "Look Jake, it's been almost 4 months since we met, and 3 months since… since y'know. Im ready."