Eleanor Deyes: Zalfie's daughter

50- Sorries

"Well, honestly, I'm depressed. Like, going through depression. Pretty much what happened to El when she found out." Joe says, looking at me.

I mentally facepalm.

"What happened to El?" Caspar asks.

"Um, er, nothing." I say.

He doesn't look too convinced. I sigh. I roll up my sleeve and show him. 

He gasps. "This happened today?" He asks.

I nod, trying hard not to cry. "I'm sorry, I thought that..." Joe trails off.

"Its okay, continue." I shake my head.

"Well, the fact that I broke up with Chloe got out on the internet somehow. And to top it all off, I've been receiving a lot of hate on the comments of my videos. And, I didn't know what to do. The most logical thing to do then was to drink the pain away for that one night. But, then the drinking got the best of me and I started to hurt myself..." He looks down at his arm at all the cuts.

"But then, the drinking got really addictive and I just kept helping myself. Then, you came over an I thought, maybe I should let it go for one night. But, I couldn't. It was like a drug to me. And it is." A tear slips from his eye.

"Fuck those haters, Joe. That is no excuse for getting drunk every night." Caspar says.

"I lied to you guys. I lied to my own sister. I'm an idiot." Joe sobs.

This is new. Very new.

"You're not an idiot. Well, you are, but only in a good way. The way that makes people laugh. I bet that deep inside everyone forgives you. But my forgiveness is buried very deep. But, at least its there." I say, shrugging.

"Forget that I said that I won't talk to you. I just won't trust you for a while. You understand, don't you?" I say, thinking I sound too harsh.

"I understand." He says nodding with a smile.

"Joe, remember, we are always there for you, no matter what. You have us to depend on, and not alcohol. When you get out, promise to us as well as Jesus that you won't ever drink like this again." Caspar says.

"I promise." Joe says, softly.

That's a pretty big promise that he has to keep no matter what.

"Sir, Miss, please leave. Joe needs rest." The doctor says, barging in.

We nod and walk out. "Do you guys want to come over for a bit?" Caspar asks.

"As nice as that sounds, we can't. Someone ran out without our permission,  and we had to follow her dropping all our things and running after her. I was in the middle of editing a video which I have to upload today. So, we have to go." Dad says.

"Oh well then, I guess I'll see you later. By the way, Joe is coming home on Saturday and I thought that maybe we could have some sort of get well soon party with Marcus, Jim, and everyone close." Caspar says.

"Caspar is one of the most caring people in the world isn't he?" Mum says.

"Aww, staaap! You're making me blush!" Caspar says. Mum and Dad laugh and I smile. 

"Its already seven. Let's go." Mum says.

-Next day-

I walk alone the school then it hits me like a truck- our date!

I run to school and go straight to Louis' locker. "I am so sorry! I totally spaced out! Joe was in the hospital and yesterday was completely scary!" I look up properly at Louis this time, but it wasn't only Louis who was listening. It was the whole hallway.

"Too loud?" I say.

"Eleanor! What happened to Joe?" They all start to ask.

And soon everyone is surrounding me asking what had happened. I obviously wasn't going to tell. 

"I am not going to tell any of you! Please can you go!" I yell.

But they don't listen and they keep asking questions. Some of them even had their phones out recording this whole thing. Oh no!

"What is going on here?" Mrs. Thompson asks, the massive crowd.

Everyone moves away and I was left, with her staring at me. "Your office?" I ask, hugging my jacket.

"Let's go." She says, nodding and walking towards her office.

I follow her and I sit down on the chair.

"What happened now?" She asks.

"This time, it wasn't me. It was all their fault. See, I had to meet up with my friend at the pier but I couldn't go because Joe was in the hospital and I had to go. I completely forgot and I apologized to him this morning but I'm guessing the apology was too loud and everyone heard. And after that, everyone started surrounding me asking what happened to Joe and all my personal business." I explain at one shot.

"Okay. I understand." She says.

"You do?" I ask, confused. She never understands me.

"I want to know why you have not been attending school these days. And why you're wearing a jacket during the month of March." She says.

"Oh. Well, I have been really sick and, er, my parents had some work to do all the way in America so, I had to go with them." I say, partially lying.

"And the jacket?" She asks.

"Er, you know us kids, jackets are all the rage right now." I say.

"Er, okay. Now get to class. I received a complaint that you weren't in your French class yesterday?" She says.

"Um, bye!" I say, running out.

I got to my locker and I roll up my sleeve and look down at my cuts. My full arm was covered in them. Is this a bad thing? Honestly, I partially agree with Joe, its kinda addicting especially when you're sad.

I was so claustrophobic in that massive crowd. Which now leads to the thought of Louis. I'm the worst at dates. Never thought it would actually go like this. I imagine Louis standing alone waiting for me and I almost burst into tears. 

I take my scissors and make a cut on a gap in my arm. What am I doing to myself? How could something so wrong feel so right?