It's a love/hate Relationship (sequel) After Amnesia

35. Reality

Mickey's P.O.V

Harry and Caityln..now Me and Luke. I don't know what happened, but everything just fell apart before my eyes. Luke spoke with such hatred and I think the fact that I didn't know why proves just how distant we've really been. The farther we went back into the dorm building, the farther he went from me the more I felt myself collapse down to the floor. The concrete floor was cold and hard..my heart becoming cold and hard. Everything just died before my eyes, and I couldn't even cry because my body was too numb to cry. I could hear Caitlyn yelling and Luke yelling from the dorm house. But I just lay there in the cold hard ground still soaking in everything. Luke and I had always been the inseparable couple. Nothing could ever come between Luke and I ever. Nobody it nothing..he promised. Now we were broken up, and I was broken point blank. I watched Caitlyn's heart break, but I could never imagine that it felt this terrible. My vision was blurry, my body felt cold an lifeless and I just wanted to die. He was my rock..visions of everyone my we had together flashing before my eyes. How did he go from not being able to love without me to wanting nothing to do with me. I wanted so many answers I knew I just wasn't gonna get. Where am I to go now? I refuse to go back inside, seeing him is too hard. Knowing that he isn't mine to have anymore, probably forever is beyond what my mind could process or handle. In a moment like this..I would run to Luke. What do you do when the person you always counted on wants nothing to do with you? Where do you go. For all I care let a car come by and run me over....hopefully this time I'll stay forgetting everything, I won't remember him or anything about my life these last two years. Better yet, let the hit instantly kill me so I won't have to live this pain everyday seeing him. My thoughts are interrupted when I feel two hands pick me up from the ground. Instantly, I feel my body fade to black..
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"M..wake up. Please..wake up!" I open my eyes revealing myself In Caitlyn room, In her bed..next to Harry.
"What's going on? Why am in the dorm..I need to leave before-"
"Luke and Caitlyn are up in the roof..they won't be back for a while."
I sit up and look at Harry, I've been so busy being mad at him for what he's done to Caitlyn I forgot what a good friend I've been missing.
"Mickey..I know I'm probably not the best company right now but-" I interrupt him attacking him in a big hug as I finally feel tears come down freely.
"Thank you for being here for me..I'm sorry I should've been there for you too. "
"M, what the hell happened?" He said lifting me up to meet his gaze.
"I don't know..all I know is that I hurt him..but he hurt me! And I'm some being hurt! That's all I ever get is hurt and I don think I can handle getting her again. Not by him."
"I'll always be here for you M. I love you so much. And thank you for now hating me" I was still mad at him for what he did to C but right now I don't care, I just need my Harry.
"What do I do when I see him? He says he's hurting but he probably doesn't even care anymore."
"You keep your head held high and try your best to fake the smile. It's what I've been doing" he engulfed me in a big huge hug and I felt tears soaking both his and my shirt.
"One day it will get better. We can't give up yet M.." I could hear distant talking outside the dorm Buildings.
"Harry..I need to go. Good luck with Caitlyn. Please H, go easy on her. You know she didn't do anything"
"Whatever M..focus on Luke would you"
"Sensitive topic..sorry" my bones were shaking as I ran outside the dorm and behind the wall. Suddenly the voices got much clearer.
"Thank you Caitlyn..I really needed that talk"
"No problem L, I'm always here for you. Just are you sure you did the right thing?"
"It wasn't just about Kaleb, she just isn't the girl I fell I'm love with anymore. I'm not gonna miss here"
It felt as if someone slowly sunk a knife in my heart ripping it in two. I held in my sobs so I wouldn't be caught but I accidental let a whimper out. I could hear footsteps coming towards me as I saw Caitlyn's eyes meet mine.
"Please..I'm not here" I mouthed.
"What was it?" He asked. Just his beautiful voice hurt my heart.
"Please" I whispered through the sobs.
"Umm nothing..I'll meet you inside I think forgot something up on the roof"
"Oh okay..I'll see you in a bit" once the door closed I got myself to calm down.
"I suppose I could take you up to help me look for what I 'forgot'?" I nodded.
We made up to the roof in silence and sat down in our usual spot.
"You know..you might not believe me but he's actually just as upset as you"
"No he's not..he broke up with me he doesn't even feel a fraction of what I'm feeling. He knows everything, his reasons, I'm clueless I don't even have the answers to why the person I loved most is now just a stranger in my life"
"Well if it makes you feel better, we can be lonely together?"
"That would be great C" she held me in her arms for a long time, tears quietly streaming down my cheeks, bloodshot eyes, bruised knees, tear tracks, messed up hair and a broken soul. We went down to the dorm floor and Caitlyn opened the door.
"Are you coming?"
"Y-yeah..in a sec just, give me a moment alone real quick"
"Okay..but if your not inside in five minutes I'm calling the cops!" With that she closed the door. Okay Mickey..don't let him see your true emotions. He can't know how much he's hurt you. He's fine- your not. But he can never know that. Nobody should. I slowly go inside where it's dark with a single light on from Caitlyn's room. I could hear them quietly arguing which already lowers my comfidence. I slowly walk towards my room and I hear quiet singing in the shower. I walk in luckily Luke in the bathroom showering. His voice still so beautiful- any other day I would've went I there and sang along ridiculously loudly but now I can just sit on this bed and avoid all possible contact with him. Suddenly the singing and shower hose died down as he started getting ready to exit the bathroom, my heart racing in my chest as my instinct is to fake that I'm asleep, facing away so I wouldn't have to see his face, his voice was enough to haunt my heart. It's crazy how much my life changed since this morning. But when I heard him step out into the room I literally felt my skin drain of all color. Never have I been so terrified of a person in my life. It was very quiet, and I slowly felt the bed sink in next to me, as a bright light went off, he was probably going through tumblr like he always does. I sneakily look through 'the mirror' and see that he is scrolling though all of our pictures in his phone, tears steaming his face. All I want to do is hug him and kiss him and sleep in his arms like usual but I notice he starts deleting all the photos, I couldn't take it any longer, the sadness was consuming me- and it was just the first night. The rest of my life is going to be a bit difficult but not if I just turn it all off. All my hurt forming into anger and depression clouding all my thoughts. I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up. As he fell asleep I turned to face him, his flat hair covering his tired face. I still don't understand why he did this but.. he did it, and it's time to face the whole reality of the situation.