zodiac astrology

what the signs' networks are worth:

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aries: a handful of rusty pennies

taurus: -$0.01

gemini: fool's gold retail price

cancer: a hundred dollar bill with a tear in it

leo: 25 cents and half a PB&J

virgo: -$10.99

libra: $5.79

scorpio: a box of month old strawberries

sagittarius: a $5 footlong with only ketchup in it

capricorn: the garbage can outside

aquarius: the actual value of the clothes at Urban Outfitters

pisces: 5 cents

how unfortunate