ENDLESS

My curly-haired weirdo

Simon already booked my plane to Paris. I had everything packed already.

I kept Harry out of the house by telling him that I need some time to myself.

Everything is already in the moving truck and now I'm just gonna sit around and think.

I invited Harry over tonight so that he can be here after I'm already gone.

God, I'm such a coward. I can't face him. he's gonna be so vulnerable and so broken and hurt. I feel so bad. but I don't have a choice. I'm doing what's best for him and his career.

I decide to write him a note to at least try and explain myself.

Dear Harry, 

I know right now you're looking for me, wondering where I am. I want you to know that I'm fine. Well going to be. I love you so much. I have to leave. Its an urgent emergency. I can't tell you why I'm leaving or where I'm going. Unfortunately, we cant keep in contact. I feel so bad for doing this to you and not being able to tell you why. Its very unfair to you and I'm so sorry for leaving you while carrying your child. But I'm doing what best for you.I know that right now it doesnt make any sense right now. It barely makes sense to me. On the bright side, I am happy to inform you, that I decided to name our son Harry Edward Styles Jr. Its gonna be hard seeing him everyday, and not think about you. I have a feeling that he will turn out just like you. Compassionate, head strong, hard headed, chocolate curls as far as the eye can see, loving, caring, and determined. If you love me you will move on and find someone so much better than me, someone who won't leave you like this. I want you to know that I will always love you and I will never forget what you've done for me.Do me a favor favor plea be happy. Our son is in the right hands. I'll send pictures and maybe come to some concerts. Breaking your heart is not easy at all. Just thinking about the sensitive, vulnerable, and hurt face of you while reading this tears me to pieces. I don't want to do this and I wish I could tell you why. I'll never forget the sparkle in your emerald green eyes that I saw every time you said you loved me. I'll never forget the way you held me in your arms while we slept. I'll never forget the tingling sensation you gave me whenever you whispered into my ear. I'll never forget the thumping of my heart against my chest whenever your skin brushed against mine, the feeling no one else in the world could give me. And I'll never forget your kisses. Your sweet lingering soft lips against mine. The way you would smile into the kiss whenever a moan escaped from my mouth or when I felt my way through your hair. You are always on my mind and forever in my heart. I love you. I wish I could hear your sweet raspy voice say those words one last time. By the time you read this, I'll probably be at the airport or already on the plane. Even though you may forget me, I'll never forget you Harry. I love you Harry, more than anything in the world.

-Thinking of You

Gabrielle.

The words basically wrote themselves. My hand wrote but my mind was completely blank.

I didn't want to leave him but I had to. I have to leave now before he gets here.

I leave the note on the table along with the H necklace he gave me for my birthday. I left out the door tears treading down my face.

I'm going to miss that curly-haired weirdo. My curly-haired weirdo.