The Diary of an Unintentional Puck Slut

March 3 and 11 2014

March, 3 2014

Dear Diary,

First, I had a lot of fun skating at the outdoor game. It was my first time skating in front of the Pens after leaving them, and they all seemed happy to see me. It helped me forget what I had learned early that morning.

However, after the game I had to talk to Sid. I had been dreading having to tell him ever since I found out. I wish he had been in that hospital room with me so I wouldn't have to say it, or try to explain what had happened with my medication.

He came over to my apartment after the game and I made dinner for him.

"Sid," I said sitting down on the couch next to him after we ate. "I need to talk to you about something."

"Okay," he said looking concerned, "what's wrong?"

I looked down and took his hand, not knowing how to start.

"This is really hard for me to say, especially after what we went through in December. I, um," I paused, still looking down, unable to look at him. "I don't really know how to say this, but I am several months pregnant with twins."

I looked up to see his face melt from concern and confusion into a mixture happiness and (I think) fear. "That's... did you say twins?" He asked, looking a little concerned again.

I told him what the doctor had said about my medication and how this had apparently happened to several other women.

"Why would your doctor give you that medicine and not tell you it was a trial, or what the risks were?" He seemed more upset about that than the fact that I was going to have twins in a few months.

"I don't know," I said. My head was swimming as I tried to figure out how to tell him the next part.

"There is also a possibility that you are not that father of one or both of them," I said quietly, looking down.

"What!?" He looked mad, and offended, but mostly mad. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Oh my God don't get so mad at me! We weren't even dating when I got pregnant!" I replied defensively.

"We were practically dating, I mean you lived in my house," he looked at me hard with his jaw set. "Who else did you sleep with?"

I looked down and shook my head.

"Who Emme?!" He moved closer and grabbed my arm.

"I need to know," he shook my arm a bit, but not aggressively.

"It's someone on the team isn't it?" He said when I didn't respond.

I nodded, but couldn't look at him.

"Oh my God Emme, who was it?" He asked trying to make me look at him.

"I don't want you to be mad at him," I replied quietly.

He began naming guys and I shook my head after each name, except some I rolled my eyes (like Duper, why would he want to sleep with me?) until he got to Brandon.

"It's Suttsy isn't it," he said standing up.

"Please don't do anything to him!" I said trying to stop him.

"Is that why you kept visiting your cat? So you could have sex with him?" He yelled pushing me away. "Do you even have a cat or was that some lame excuse you made up so you could visit him?"

"Yes I have a cat and you would know that if you ever bothered to pay attention to my life!" I pushed him back.

"What do you mean? And why are you getting mad at me? I'm the one that should be pissed off right now." He said looking hurt.