The Diary of an Unintentional Puck Slut

March 17- 25 2014

March, 17 2014

Dear Diary,

I have been so paranoid since I saw Cam last week. I called Carli to see if she knew why he was in Chicago.

"I think it's for his job," she replied. "I guess after his internship ended they hired him. I don't know if he requested to work in Chicago, or if that's just where he was assigned."

"This really sucks balls. I already hated it here enough, I did not need this." I sighed.

"Could you get transferred back to Pittsburgh?" She suggested. "I mean you probably can't skate that much longer now that you're pregnant and all."

"I know. I should talk to Sid, maybe he can get me out of it."

I'm not sure I want to go back to Pittsburgh. Things are not that great between Sid and me right now. We still talk frequently, but he mostly asks how I'm doing and if anything has happened to the babies. He seems to be in a perpetual bad mood ever since I told him Brandon might be the father, so I try not to talk to him for very long.

Brandon and I have been talking a lot more lately. I think he's actually really excited about it. He said he doesn't want to get too into it and then find out he's not the father. I don't blame him though, that would be depressing.

I Skyped with him a few days ago so I could see my cat. He held her up in front of the camera until she started growling.

"I see Pancake is her usual grumpy self," I laughed as she ran away from him.

"Yeah, but it's because she misses you," he replied.

"Oh really, she misses me?"

"Well, I missed you too," he said looking sad.

"I miss you too," I replied. "How are things going with Sid? Has he given you any more black eyes?"

"No, but he's not exactly being nice to me either."

"I understand why he's upset, though. I mean, you're his teammate, and he has to see you every day whether he wants to or not."

"Yeah. And the rest of the guys know you're pregnant, but they don't know the details."

"It's probably better that way, for both of us. I feel so horrible for putting you in this position," I sighed and looked down. The very obvious bump I somehow didn't see for several months is now a glaring reminder of what kind of a person I am. 

"It's not your fault, it was an accident. Besides," he said with a smile, "there is no one I would have rather accidentally gotten pregnant than you."

"Really?" I asked laughing.

"Yeah you're really nice, pretty, fun, and we get along well, and my family seem to like you too," he continued and I watched him suddenly realize something, a serious tone taking over his eyes. 

"Oh my God, do they know?" I asked remembering how nice they had been when I accidentally interrupted their dinner in January.

"They might know you're pregnant, but they don't know that I might have, um, caused it."

"That's funny. Cause of pregnancy: unknown," I said laughing at my unfortunate situation. "That's going to be really hard to explain. How do you even make something like this seem normal?"

"We'll make it work," he reassured.

I went to bed that night thinking of how awkward it's going to be to tell my mom. She knows I'm pregnant, but she thinks it's with Sid.