The Diary of an Unintentional Puck Slut

December 7, 2013

Dec. 03, 2013

Dear Diary,

I have been a complete idiot!

I finally talked to Brandon. I went to his house because I wanted to visit my cat while he was away, but he hadn’t left yet. So I decided to take Carli’s advice and talk to him.

It turns out he hadn’t gone home with that girl from the club the other night.

“No, she was really drunk, and annoying, so I put her in a cab. And then I went home because you were making out with Beau,” he explained, a little annoyed. “Why do you care who I sleep with anyway?”

“What? You didn’t sleep with her?” How could I have been so stupid!

“God no, she was just a dumb puck bunny,” hearing him say that word reminded me of what Carli had called me.

“Am I a puck slut?” I asked him, suddenly feeling tears building behind my eyes.

“What? No, I mean a little,” he teased, “but no. You’re just...”

“A slut?” I said finishing his sentence.

“No, no you’re not a slut,” he said, though I’m not sure he believed himself.

“Yes I am,” I said as I started to cry on his arm, “I’m such a horrible girlfriend. I don’t deserve Sid.”

“Hey, don’t say that,” he said stroking my hair.

“Carli asked me if I loved him, and I don’t think I do,” I said looking into his eyes, I almost blurted out the other stuff we talked about, (being honest with Brandon about my ‘feelings’ for him) but I stopped myself. I don’t even know how I feel about him.

“That’s okay, if you don’t love him yet,” he said trying to make me feel better.

“I don’t know if I ever will. I mean, if I keep doing stuff like this,” I said, still crying a little.

“It’s okay, it might take some time, but I know he likes you a lot, and he’ll wait for you,” he looked down at me and I could see something in his eyes, something he wasn’t saying.

“But what if I’m never ready, for him,” I said, “what if there’s someone-”

I got cut off by his phone buzzing.

“I’m going to be late, I have to go,” he said kissing my forehead as he left.

And now I’m all alone with Pancake.

So confused. At least I got to see Sid yesterday, we had fun just hanging out and talking.

I think he really wants to meet my family now. Fuckkk

I’m not ready for that!

Sincerely,

Emme

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Dec. 07, 2013

Dear Diary,

Something is very very wrong with me.

I don’t think things will be the same between Sid and I. I don’t even know what to think.

At practice on Wednesday I had just gotten on the ice and was messing around with Sid before he left. I stole his stick and tried to hit a puck into the empty net with it but missed (by a lot) and we both started laughing.

Then I started to feel sick and my heart started beating really fast, and things started to go black.

Next thing I knew I was in the Pens medical room with a bunch of sports medicine specialists trying to figure out what was wrong with me (now that I know what it was there is probably no way they would have figured that out).