Sex, drugs, and Wes Gregory

Chapter twenty two

I wake up alone on the living room couch with a blanket laid on top of my naked body.

Rubbing my eyes, I sit up, holding the blanket to my chest.

Never in a million years did I think that I'd ever kiss Wes Gregory, let alone have sex with him.

We had never talked about having feeling for each other, we had beer even gotten close to kissing. Last night all of our bottled up emotions were let out and I don't regret a second of it.

After taking a long hot shower, I put on a pair of yoga pants and a sweatshirt before going downstairs.

When my eyes land on Wes who stands at the bottom of the stairs, the biggest real smile I have ever worn spreads across my face.

I have never ran down stairs as fast as I did when I try to to reach him.

I throw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He doesn't budge at the sudden force when our bodies collide.

He wraps his own arms around me and whispers, "I love you, Macy."

"I love you too" I tell him

"I'm going to kiss you but you have keep your eyes closed." He says

One May think that having sex with a guy you have never even really seen before is wrong...

But if wrong feels this amazing then I don't ever want to be right.

His lips feel like heaven against my own. Nothing has ever been so amazing to me.

The way his lips caress mine is so sweet, so devine. It makes me wonder if I'll ever have anything or anyone as good as him.

Wes's POV

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to get to heaven? Do you ever want to just see what heaven is like without actually dying?

When I am with Macy, I feel like I have gotten to heaven, I feel like I know what heaven is like without dying.

What a purely amazing feeling that is.

She makes the silence sing and the darkness light.

She's so tragic, so hurt, so weak, but yet so strong.

It kind of makes me wonder if I'll ever have anything or anyone as good as her.

Macy is one of a kind. She is the type of girl you don't want to have a relationship with because you know that she isn't capable of it but you want to spend a lifetime with her anyway.

Her lips are like sweet cherry wine against my own. They are silk, so smooth, so plump against mine.

We are both poison but when our lips connect and our hands begin to touch it is as if we are wine.

Macy makes me feel again, makes me whole again.

Before her I thought I was already dead, that I was a lost cause. She gives me that slither of hope that makes me think that maybe I am worth a little more than nothing.

I've tried to help her with her home problems, with her inner problems but I have come to see that I can't.

She is continuously attempting to dig inside me and find out my secret, to find out why I'm hiding so that she can help me.

But if there is one thing that I do know, it's that we can't save each other, there is no point in trying.

We are both two deadly sins that are begging for forgiveness. Two broken down souls that need to be pieced back together.

The things is, neither of us carry those pieces...we never will.

No matter how long we are together, no matter how close we get over time, we will never ever be able to fix each other's brokenness.

Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be. Maybe we aren't meant to fix each other, we are meant to fix ourselves.

Not in my wildest dreams did I think that I would actually sleep with Macy. Of course I have thought about it but I didn't think it would actually happen.

I've always had to push the thoughts out of my head but the other night when we are on the couch and she said those things to me, I knew it was the right time.

Then when my lips met hers, I knew she was the right one. I knew that it wasn't a mistake, that it was meant to happen.

Her body felt so perfect and fragile in my hands, so delicate and soft. I remember every touch of my hands on her.

The way her treasure wrapped around me, the way her hands roamed over my chest and tangled in my hair made me feel as if everything people said was impossible is possible.

Then she said those three words that I was expecting less of than the sex even.

"I love you."

My body hummed and my hear spread up. My eyes closed as I cherished those words that I never thought I'd hear since my mothers death.

I couldn't bring myself to say I love you back. I can't be positive as to why I couldn't. Maybe it's because I don't even know what love is. I know the feeling I get when I'm around he is amazing but how am I supposed to know that what I'm feeling is love?

Telling her I love her too isn't an option right now. I don't want to lie to her...

...I don't even know if I would be lying.

Everything is all too confusing and until I get my mind right then I won't be able to say I love you to anyone.