pillowtalk.

thirty | slowly drifting

FLASHBACK

Heart sat on the hill that she always ran to whenever she felt her lowest. She wiped her tears as the sun was slowly setting in front of her. These were the times she needed her parents the most, but she knew nothing could bring them back & that pain hit her right where it stung her the most.

"I knew you'd be here." She heard a familiar voice behind her, but she continued to wipe away her tears as she kept her eyes on the view in front of her. "What's wrong, Heart?" Jomari sat next to her, watching her wipe away at her face.

"Not now, Jomari."

"You could try & get rid of me as much as you want, but you know that's not gonna work." He chuckled a bit. "What is it?" She looked down at her hands.

"Just one of those days."

"Aw, man. Come on, Heart. You can't keep beating yourself up like this."

"I don't know Jome. I just feel so worthless. My parents are gone & my aunt hates me. I haven't been doing well in school, and I work at a crappy ass diner. Not exactly how I pictured my life going." She pouted as the tears began to fall down her cheeks once more. Jomari put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close, letting her lean her head onto his shoulder.

"I know things are tough right now. And I wish I could make it easier for you. But just remember, God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers, aight? You a strong girl. I know you'll get through this & make yourself stronger." She silently took the view in as the orange color of the sun began to devour the rest of the sky.

"I miss them." She quietly said.

"I know you do. They lookin' over you, though."

"I don't know what I did to deserve this."

"You did absolutely nothing, Heart. Trust in his plan. Even though it may sound crazy and shit, this whole thing was meant for you. He ain't gon' misguide you. Don't worry about it. I got you through everything." Jome placed a kiss on top of her head.

"Thanks, Jome." He have her a reassuring squeeze on the arm and rubbed it. "Hey."

"Hm?"

"You think we'll grow old together? Be the same, act the same. Do all the things we do together in the long run?"

"Yeah! Are you serious?" Jomari laughed. "I'ma be the same old Jomari when I hit 80 years old & I'ma be right here." She chuckled. "We'll take over the world. You'll be the little fashion designer you always dreamt about & I'll be the engineer. It don't get no better than that!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. Heart laughed and playfully punched his chest, earning a smile from him. "There's that smile."

"I love you, Jome."

"I love you too, bighead." He kissed her temple. "We gon' be alright."

PRESENT

Heart sat on the beach as the sun began to approach the horizon. She let the sand fill her toes as she continued to drown in the sounds of the waves. Jomari's mother & family had just released his ashes out into the ocean, officially setting him free. Stephen sat next to her, draping his jacket over her shoulders. The setting was perfect being that he too, needed time to just think & reflect.

So many things have happened over the last couple of days and Stephen was still trying to get a good grasp of it all. Though he didn't know him for long, he found a good, trustworthy and dependable friend in Jomari. He was always there for Heart, and being that he was a new guy in her life, Stephen appreciated how much Jome took the time to really get to know him & make a friend in him. That was rare nowadays and he couldn't help but thank God for having maintained a good connection with the man before all of this went down. It's been hard on Heart and it ached his whole body whenever he looked at her. She could barely sleep, eat or focus on things she needed to focus on. No matter how much he tried to console her physically, emotionally, mentally, all of the above, he knew the pain wouldn't subside.

If anything, it probably only gets worse for Heart as the days go on without Jomari being around.

He was losing energy & sleep over it too, but he wanted to make sure she was okay. He was going to make sure she was okay, even if it took the very last ounce of energy in him.

"You alright, baby?" He quietly asked as he looked at her & examined her body. She continued to look out at the water before turning to him and nodding a bit.

"I'm alright." She softly smiled as she dug her toes deeper into the sand.

"Is there anything on your mind that you want to talk about?" She sighed.

"Not really. I'm just sorting through the memories of Jome."

"You can tell me all about it when you're ready." He smiled at her.

"I will." She paused to look down at the sand before looking back at the water. "He's in a better place. I'm learning to accept that."

"He is, babygirl. & Like I said, he'll always be watching over you."

"I'm just.." She paused once more, a bit longer this time. Stephen looked at her, patiently waiting for her to continue with her sentence. "I'm just never prepared for these things."

"We all aren't. I know I can't exactly say I understand how it feels, but I know it's been hard for you. That's why I want to do everything I can to be there for you."

"I know, Wardell. I appreciate you." She grabbed his hand and rubbed it with her thumb. "I'm going to be completely honest. I hate it at all." She looked out beyond her.

"Hate what?"

"It's the most painful thing losing the most important people in your life. & I'm not too sure what could mend this pain." She looked at him as she pouted, the tears slowly dropping from her eyes once more. "I feel so numb to everything. All my life, all I've felt was hurt. Betrayal. Hate. Anger. Depression. I've been living in the shadows & I'm afraid I'll never get out of it." She let go of his hand to wipe her tears. He scrunched his forehead as he examined her and pulled her close. He pressed his lips against her temple and gave her a squeeze as he laid his chin on top of her head.

"I'm going to be with you every step of the way, baby. I promise. I'm going to do everything in my power to make you happy, and to keep you happy. And to give you everything you deserve and more. I'm not going to let you feel this pain anymore."

"I'm just so tired, Wardell. Jomari was the last thing I had that reminded me of family, despite everything we've been through. He was the last reminder that I had. Everything just slowly drifted away from me."

"I know, babygirl. I know this. I'm so sorry this had to happen." She quietly cried as they looked at the sun beginning to set. "I'm going to take care of you, alright? I promise. We'll be alright."

~

(Waves - Mr. Probz)