The Life Of A Freak

Chapter 23

I sit there, miserable.

"Tux come out!" Darren yells.

"No!" I yell.

I take the iPod and ear buds and listen to some music.

While we were at Vampire Mountain I listened to a lot of music, Cai had a lot.

"I'll break the door."

"Go ahead."

One of the many songs I memorized comes on.

I start singing - more like mumbling - along with it.

"Sorry I don't treat you like a god
Is that what you want me to do? Sorry I don't treat you like your perfect. Like all your little loyal subjects do. Sorry I'm not made of sugar. Am I not sweet enough for you? Is that why you always avoid me? I must be such an inconvenience to you. Well, I'm just your problem. Well, I'm just your problem. Its like I'm not even a person, am I? Oh no. I'm just your problem. Well, I shouldn't have to justify what I do. I should not prove anything to you. I'm sorry that I exist. I forgot what landed me on your blacklist. Well, I shouldn't be the one that makes up with you. So, why do I want to? Why do I want to? I don't have a clue I'm asking you. So, why do I want to? I guess that's why I want to bury you in the ground. That's why I want to bury you in my sound.  I'm sorry that it is this way. I dont know what else to say. Cause I didn't mean to push all my friends away. Because I am just your problem. I'm just your problem."

"Tux..." I hear from the other side of the door.

I hear a chuckle, "You just lost a keeper."

"Shut up! Come on Tux... I'm sorry."

I ignore the brunettes attempt to get me out of the bathroom.

"Leave her be, she probably needs some space." I hear another voice say.

"Ok..."

I stay in the bathroom for a while longer.

I lost track of time.

I am so alone in this world...no one cares about me...

My eyes fill with tears as these words fill my mind. I'm such a worthless piece of trash...

I'll just leave and go to the Cirque.

I finally decide to stand and step out of the bathroom, but I don't do it without griping my hands around my scarf.

"Tux!" Darren yells and hugs me as I step out of the bathroom, the sun is just now setting...how long was I in there? I could've sworn it has been hours...

"What?" I squeak out, trying to make it sound like I wasn't crying.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you! Don't think you aren't loved and don't matter."

"But I don't... Why would you care what happens to me? You have your girlfriend over there..."

"You're my best friend."

I grit my teeth, "You didn't deny it...."

"Deny what?"

"Never mind..." I growl. "Well you put this girl you barely know before me, and that's not what friends do."

"..." He goes silent.

"Tux, you're over reacting." Debbie says.

"Over reacting?" I ask. "I'm sorry you make me feel useless!"

"How do I make you feel that way?!"

"Darren is my best friend and you're taking up all his attention!"