2016 April Collection

Request - Drabble Jasper Jordan (Triggers!)

Triggerwarning: This drabble might be triggering when it comes to mental illnesses. Take care of yourself!

Jasper stared at you and he took a deep breath. He knew that you weren't the one he loved. The one he loved was somewhere in there and the longer he looked at you, the more he wanted you to be you again.

Right now everything about you was different. The way you moved, the way you looked at him, the way you smiled. Even the way you spoke was different. You were saying things you would never say. You were saying things you wouldn't even think. "Jasper?"

"I'm not talking to you." He hissed between his teeth and he bent his head, avoiding your glance.

"O, that's a pity. I remember that you and I always had the best talks..." You smiled a teasing smile. "That was before you lost your girlfriend and completely lost your mind of course." You smiled a little brighter and Jasper bit his cheek. "Would you have loved me if you had not lost her, Jasper?" You cocked your head. "Do you even love me?" You whispered and Jasper tensed his muscles. "Or am I just a distraction? Just like alcohol is a distraction for you?"

"Shut up!" Jasper spoke softly and he stared straight into your eyes. He told himself again that you weren't you. He repeated it over and over like some kind of mantra, but it was not working.

"What is it, Jasper? Can't you handle the truth?" You cocked your head. "Because that's it, right? The truth?" You licked your lips. "If you wouldn't have lost Maya, you wouldn't have kissed me. If you could trade me to get Maya back, you would do so." You paused for a short moment. "You don't love me, Jasper. You've never done so."

"SHUT UP!" Jasper screamed right now. Of course he had wondered if he would still love you if Maya had not died. Of course he had asked himself what he would do if Maya would come back. Of course he wasn't sure if you were sometimes not just a distraction. "You know nothing about me and (Y/N)!"

"And that's where you wrong. I know that you're worthless. I know that you're useless. I know that you're nothing but a waste of breath."