Why Do I Feel This Way?

Chapter Four

Gaara POV:

I'm such an idiot. I let my anger get the best of me right in front of Hana. But why do I even care what she thinks of me? She probably thinks I'm a monster. What difference does it make? Everyone in the village thought I was a monster at some point, why is she any different? And I can keep telling myself this all night but I still feel an ache in my chest, almost as if I can't breathe. Why is she so important to me now? And why was I so stupid that I made her stop smiling at me?

When Kankuro asked me if I like Hana, I didn't even know what to say. Should I have said yes? I couldn't, I don't deserve her. She's a ray of sunshine for everyone while I cast the shadow on the village. We're too different from each other. I don't even know if what I feel for her is in a romantic sense. I want to keep her safe, but I also want her to stay by my side. I want her to be happy, but I want to be the person to make her happy. But how can I make her happy if all I've ever done is destroy and kill? I can't be the one to make her happy. But Kankuro can't be either. I've only ever seen him with girls from a bar or a club, never even giving me a hint that he wanted to settle down. Why now? And why with Hana?! 

As time went on, I started to regret saying those words. '...No. I don't like her.'  I basically gave him a straight route to have Hana in his arms. And to make matters worse after Kankuro gave his stupid speech about wanting to settle down, I sensed Hana. She listened in on a majority of the argument. Including the part where I said I didn't like her. Is that why she didn't smile at me? Does that mean she likes me?!....No. No she doesn't. She wouldn't ever love a demon. That's all I am to her: a cold, demon. 

I heard a knock on my door. It was Temari.

"Gaara, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah everything's fine." She opened the door and in a swift motion sat on my bed with her legs crossed.

"No it's not. You're a terrible liar. What happened between you and Kankuro?"

"Nothing."

"Oh okay so it doesn't have anything to do with Hana right?" I sat there in frozen. She knows.

"What do you know?"

"From what Shika and I could gather there is a love triangle and Hana is just as confused if not more confused than you Gaara."

"Why do you say that?"

"She dropped a note that was handed to her it was Kankuro who asked if she would be his date for the wedding."

"Damn Kankuro..." I muttered. So he still managed to ask her.

"And when Kankuro was trying to ask her something you interrupted time and time again. You didn't want him to ask her. Why is that?"

"You're the one working in the psychology and interrogation department now. You should have the answer." She sighed before saying:

"Fine, you want my opinion? You didn't want him to ask her because you were afraid of what her answer might be. You didn't want to lose her. And now I gotta say Kankuro is making great progress getting closer to Hana than you are." I glared at her before she said

"So I'm going to help you. Tomorrow since it's your day off, get her to leave a couple hours early from work and escort her to the Kazekage meeting room, where Shika and I will be to start organizing the guest list for the wedding. She'll come along with you knowing that it's to help me. Now her bakery is quite a walk from there, so you'll have plenty of time to chat. Oh! and don't forget to get  her lunch. She'll probably be hungry by then."

"...Why?"

"Because I know when my brother has fallen for a girl. And I approve." She said with a smile.