ShadAmy How Can I Love You?

I Need To Move On Chapter 11

I didn't go straight back home after encountering Sonic and his new gal pal. I physically and mentally had a break down while walking back down the street. Thank goodness I wasn't wearing any make up or it would've totally been smeared all over my face. As I continued to walk, I saw a tiny park with a playground in it. I've then decided to just, sitting on the swings, and ponder on life questions. I guess I chose a good day to mope around because it was that type of day where the sun was out, but the clouds were covering it, and a gentle breeze would blow pass every so often through my quills. I sighed, unsure what to do with the new information I've just acquired.

"I'm such an idiot." I spoke out loud.

I knew there was no way for Sonic to actually love me back, I just lied to myself throughout this whole time. I could feel my heart shattering into a million pieces, laying lifeless inside my rib cage. I felt like crying again, but they wouldn't come out. I guess I was just too sad to even use effort to cry. Heh... People are so weird... And emotional... Like me.

I hung my head in my hands and just tuned out all the noise that was happening around me.

"If I can't even get a guy that I knew over years and years to like me, what are the chances for another guy to actually fall in love with me?"

I cursed to myself under my breath and began swinging my legs to create movement on the swing. Next thing you know, I was venting to myself out loud.

"Maybe this was a sign from the universe that Sonic was just too good for me. I mean, look at me! I'm emotional, I used to be so clingy, I judge people inside my head without actually knowing them first and I'm average in school! I don't excel, I don't fail, I'm literally in between. I blend into any crowd which is sorta weird SINCE I'M A FREAKIN PINK HEDGEHOG! Seriously dad? I had to get your pink fur gene into my gene? I'm a walking stereotypical girl! URGH, why is my life so hard! Why do I want so many things, yet at the same time, get rid of everything. I'm so complicated"

I roared in frustration and kept swinging myself as if it was my job.

"I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH! MAYBE IF I ACTUALLY STARTED WORKING ON MY PERSONALITY AND NOT BE SO FOCUSED ON SONIC, I WOULD'VE ACTUALLY HAVE OTHER GUYS I COULD CHASE AFTER!"

I quickly stopped my legs from swinging, little by little, I was slowing down.

"Do I really sound like that? Do I really sound that needy and over the top? How can I classify myself as nice or--or selfless? For the past few days, I've been selfish for Sonic so much, that I got mad when our friends sad at the lunch table. Heck, I freaking even judged Shadow when he saved me from dying in the middle of the streets! What is wrong with me?"

I reached the bottom of the swing set and hung my head once again and sighed. I needed that, sometimes just yelling into the sky helps more than talking to other people. I should go home and get dinner started. I stood up and dusted my butt from any dirt that could be clinging onto my shorts, when my gaze suddenly focused what was in front of me. I nearly had a heart attack.

There in front of me stood the person I literally just spoke about 10 seconds ago; Shadow the fricken hedgehog. He was wearing a leather jacket and carrying what looked like a motorcycle helmet under his right arm. He's body was slightly leaning to one side and his face was that familiar expressionless structure that even the FBI couldn't know what Shadow was feeling. As for his ruby coloured eyes, they were staring directly at me, I felt my face flush with scarlet and felt my quills rising off my head, making me look totally animated. D-did he hear!? How long has he been standing there!?

AN's
Gaah, I'm sorry this chapter is pretty short and complete gibberish, but I feel like if I don't add my ideas on how I see Amy, I would give my readers (you) mix feelings about her. Also this is a good way to get inside Amy's head :) Oh, while I'm here, what do you guys prefer for this story? Longer chapter so 1000+ words or shorter? 600+ (like this chapter and I think the other ones) ? Leave a comment on which one you prefer! Just asking because originally this chapter was gonna be 1000+ but I erased half of it and saved it for later. /ff (gaming term), I hate how things have pros and cons ;-;