Help our souls // bws

Reunion

"Clary, hurry up, their train will be here soon !" Spencer shouted in my hear as I put on my shoes.

"We're going to miss them, too bad..." I mumbled but she heard me and glared at me, tapping her foot on the floor, waiting for me.

"What's up with you ? You've been weird these past few days ! Don't you want to see Brad ? You must've missed him, right ? Have you even texted him or called him ?" She asked, critically, though she knew the answer.

"I did miss him okay ? And yeah, a few times..." She raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms on her chest. "Okay, maybe just one time, but then what ? He didn't either !"

"Yeah because he might was waiting for you to do it ! Dammit, I really don't understand why you seem pissed at him, he's perfect, he's kind, he cares about you, why aren't you happy ?"

"Well sorry that I ain't like you, that I can't be as perfect as you are and as James is !" I felt the anger in me and I knew I had to shut up before saying something I'd regret. I grabbed my keys and got out of my house, Spencer on my heels. We walked to the train station in a dead silence. I hated to argue with her, with what was happening between Brad and I was none of her business, was it ? I just didn't like being told that my behavior wasn't the good one, being told what I should do, being reproached some things I'd already done. All this thing with Chloe had been on my mind every day since I'd seen them, which was five days ago already. I just couldn't stop thinking about it and about the fact that he wasn't totally honest with me. I thought I was enough. It really hurt me, to be honest. He knew how insecure I was and I didn't think that I could bear him hiding stuff or lying, he knew that too, so why would he do it ?

I let out a loud sigh when we finally arrived at the train station. Two minutes after, the train was approaching platform and an unpleasant sensation in my stomach appeared. I was trembling and my only thought was that I wanted to run away immediately. I knew I was stuck here though, since Spencer would kill me if I moved. I didn't know how to act with him anymore. We barely talked since he was gone with the band and even we he called me, it was awkward. It was all my fault, I was not idiot, I knew I was overthinking, but the only words that I really wanted to say on the phone were 'why did you see her ?' but I didn't want to act like the jealous girl i was, so I didn't say anything and our conversation ended up really really awkward. We hadn't really talked after, a certain distance appeared between us from since then.

I swallowed hard as I saw the passengers beginning to converge towards the exit, which was a few meters away from us. What was I going to say ? I felt so awkward, I felt like we were back to the first days, to when we met and I didn't know whether it was a good thing or not. I thought I had changed lately, I thought I wasn't as embarrassed in public as I was before, I thought I wasn't as awkward and shy as I used to be, although it seemed like I still was. "Clary !" A voice yelled my name and the next second, I was pulled into a tight hug. I giggled, recognizing my mysterious hugger.

"Hi Connor." I greeted him warmly, hugging him back. "You good ?" He nodded and grinned at me, letting me go. Tristan soon was in my arms too, squeezing me a bit less than Connor did. He looked quite tired. "Get a room !" I laughed at James and Spencer practically eating themselves next to us. She let go of James and I greeted him too.

"Oh, the sleepy bear's here." I froze as Tristan spoke behind me. I forgot him for a moment. I made a step towards the exit but I felt someone gripping my wrist.

"Don't you dare." Spencer whispered, gave me an angry look and then let me go when she knew I wouldn't run away. "We'll wait for you over there." She said, pointing some seats a bit further and they all nodded, walking away from me, from us. I took a deep breath and turned around. He has a grey sweat, his hood covering his curls, and black sweatpants. Hot, uh ? He looked so tired though. He had big blue bags under his eyes, which were half closed. He walked closer and closer to me and stopped a meter away from me. I gathered my courage.