Help our souls // bws

Tea time

Two weeks passed since the party, and they were pretty good. Ash had to go home a couple of days after it and I'e been sad for the rest of the holidays. I hated seeing people go away, and I didn't know when I would see her again, which amplified everything.

When I went back to school, Bradley stopped ignoring me. I thought maybe he would act like nothing happened, I thought maybe he didn't want to be seen with me. He truly seemed to want to try and be friends. He sat next to me sometimes and we talked, he simply stayed with me -the girl with no friends- sometimes and it made me happy. We talked about nothing in particular but I learned that he had really good grades, in every subjects. He was way more clever than me. Whatever he decided to do after, whether it was to continue music or something else, he'd more than certainly succeed. He could apply for any university without doubts to be accepted or not, unlike me. I wasn't not sure of my future. Making the wrong choices scared me. Life in general frightened me. If I could describe life with one word, I'd say uncertainty. You never knew what could happen. Everything could be pink, or black. You could be happy or extremely sad and that choice wouldn't be yours, not entirely. 

"Clary ?" I suddenly opened my eyes, to see my beautiful and wonderful teacher. Notice the irony. 

"Don't be surprised if you fail your exams. Next time I catch you sleeping, you're out." I did it again. Every night, falling into the arms of morpheus became harder and harder. The time it took me to fall asleep extended from minutes to hours. I was exhausted.

"I'm sorry, I won't do it again." I apologized, sincerely. I needed to focus on the lesson but my body couldn't follow. The teacher glared at me and went back to the board, explaining some stuff I didn't get. Ten minutes later, the lesson ended and I sighed. I had no strength left, as if sleeping took my energy.

"Clary ? What's happening ? You're okay ?" Bradley's voice reached my ears. He looked worried. Another step to friendship.

"Yeah, yeah. I-I just don't sleep very well these day so I'm a bit tired." I tried to smile at him but I knew it looked fake.

"A bit ? You look exhausted ! Why don't you go home ?"

"I wish I could but I can't miss school, otherwise I would just be lost again. I don't even understand here, so can you imagine if I miss some lessons ? I would drown. Literally." I sighed.

"Oh..." He stayed silent for a second. "What if I help you ? It's Saturday tomorrow so maybe we could meet and I'll help you to catch up ?" I looked at him. He looked serious about that. I still loved his little hazel eyes, his cute nose, his lips. Basically, I spent two weeks observing him. Kinda creepy.

"I need to call my parents to ask them to go home and I don't want to worry them. Plus, I don't know, you probably have better things to do than help an incompetent like me." I looked down. I really was one.

"Don't say that. You're not." I shuddered. His voice sounded a bit rude. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude." He took his pen and wrote his number on my hand. "Here, text me when you're home. I'll have your number so we can see when and where we meet. I'll help you." He smiled and winked at me. "Now please, call you parents and go home." I automatically nodded and he gave me a quick hug. "Have some rest." He said and ran away, probably trying to not be late for the next lesson.

I went to the infirmary to show that I was not feeling good at all and she called my parents and told them I should probably take some vitamins and have more sleep. She asked me if I could go home alone and I nodded, affirming to my father that I wasn't that sick. After that, I slowly went home, as Bradley asked me to do. Once home, I changed into pajamas and went in my bed. This time, within the next seconds, I fell asleep.