Help our souls // bws

The saviour

"So, Clary, remember that you promised to show me around ?" He winked at me.

"Miss Grey, will you please stop talking ? Don't bother Mr. Simpson." The teacher said before I could answer him. She didn't wait for an answer from me and kept doing her lesson. 

"Is she being serious ? I didn't even speak..." I muttered. Bradley laughed a little. What was so funny ? Ugh. "I haven't promised you anything, at all." I whispered, in a very serious voice. I hated being laughed at. He smirked. What was I thinking ? I said yes only because he was good looking. Maybe he was the biggest jerk on earth, maybe he just wanted to have fun with girls, maybe he was not taking them seriously, maybe he thought girls were just sexual objects. What if he was a sexist ? No way. I would rather see him as a drug dealer. I didn't think he really was though. Actually, I felt like he could be a great guy, but that was not like I would admit it anyway.

I always dreamed up weird stuff when I first see someone. The thing was that sometimes I just imagined someone like the perfect person, and after getting to know them, I literally fell off my chair. I often got too high expectations and in the end I was always disappointed. It didn't mean I didn't like them, not at all. But they were just not like I thought.

I got out of my thoughts when I saw Bradley moving in front of me. He was getting closer to Chloe and so was she. What were they talking about ? Even if I tried to listen carefully to them, there was too much noise around to hear every words they were saying. Chloe suddenly burst out laughing. What did Bradley say ? He was just smiling, looking at her. Oh my god. Did he like her ? I was not sure, but she surely was hitting on him, that was so obvious. Plain as day. I was fuming and I didn't even know why. Maybe just because of Chloe and of her behavior, the way she was. She didn't really care of what you think, what you feel, what you say. That was really not the kind of person who would listen to your problems and try to find a solution, who would comfort you anytime, who will be here for you. At least, that was how I feel when I was with her. And these days, our "friendship" didn't feel right.

"Pathetic." I thought. I sighed and put my head in my hand. I closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened them, Bradley was looking at me with widened eyes, his little brown chocolate eyes. My body shivered. He kept looking at me with his big eyes. "S-something's wrong?" 

"What did you just say ?" He asked, with a very serious voice. 

"Something's wrong?" 

"No, no before that." I could feel my heart beating fast all of sudden. Really fast. I felt like my heart would leap from my breast. "You said something else, didn't you ?" No way. Tell me I didn't say it out loud. My cheeks burnt and I must've been as red as a beetroot by now. This was so embarrassing. I was embarrassing. 

"N-no, nothing, I didn't say anything." Chloe turned around. 

"What's going on ? What's the matter Brad ?" Brad. She already called him Brad. He didn't replied and kept staring at me, his eyes seeing through me. "Clary ?" she asked, switching her eyes from Brad to me. She sounded really confused. We both heard her, though we just couldn't stop staring at each other. A boy never looked at me with this intensity, that deeply. Neither did I, even if I did, I would have looked really creepy, weird. But he didn't look at me like if I was creepy, no, his look was less rude than when he first looked at me. No, no way. He heard me, he must be pissed. I ended up looking away, I didn't want him to see me as I really was : a weak little girl who judge people. "There's nothing going on, is it, Brad ?" saying 'Brad' in a sort of ironic way, smiling, even though I didn't have to see me in a mirror to know it didn't look genuine.  

"Um, whatever." He groaned, frowning. She turned back and so did Bradley a few seconds later. I sighed, really loudly. I hated being like that. He must think I was a stupid mean and jealous girl now. Well done. If I could I would punch me in the face for what I'd just done.