Help our souls // bws

River flows in you

HEY ! There's an important question at the end of the chapter, please read it and answer me!

I spent the three following days just sleeping until noon, or more, watching TV series and eating. I made a cake per day, and yes, they were nice. But now I needed to go out. Watching TV had bored me, and it was already 2pm. I was wearing the lazy day starter pack, literally. Sneakers, comfy black leggings and the warmest hoodie I had, and as I didn't, I took one from my father. I took my phone and earphones, my keys and some money. I folded my hood on my head and started walking to the park near my house. I thought of James. We hadn't really talked since Saturday night, and to be honest, I hadn't thought about him that much. At the bar he seemed quite... distant ? I needed to ask him next time we see each other, if he even wanted to meet me again.

The fresh air ruffled on my face. I really needed to breathe the outside, to feel the cold running through my body. I filled my lungs with the icy air, which burnt my nose, went down and froze my oesophagus, and set a fire in my chest. The headache I had when I woke up was almost gone. I had a lot lately, it was quite annoying, stopping me in whatever I did. I couldn't focus without feeling like banging my head against the wall. When I finally arrived at the park, there was nobody. It seemed so empty, like if no one had ever come here. Why wasn't there anyone ? Weird. Maybe because it was a week day, but still. I sat on a bench where the sun shone and closed my eyes, enjoying the sunbeam, warming me up. The music beat in my ears. I want to breathe you in like a vapor, I want to be the one you remember, I want to feel your love like the weather all over me. I want to prints our hands in the pavement, saving your words, I won't ever waste them, look in your eyes and know just what you miss, so lie to just lie to me.

"Clary, Clary, please don't leave me alone," a voice said,  somewhere. But it was dark, I couldn't see a thing. I could feel the emptiness all around me. I was surrounded by all of the darkness. "Clary." The voice pronounced my name again. It was a teenage girl's voice. I started walking. I was just following the voice, which was calling me again and again. I wasn't afraid. The voice was familiar, I felt like I was safe. "Open your eyes." and I did. But I closed them immediately. The sudden light blinded me. I slowly opened them, trying to get used to this light. Everything was white. I couldn't see the end of the room. Was it even a room ? I was not sure. "You're with me now, please stay with me forever." I turned on my heels.

"Who are you?" I finally asked. 

"Don't you recognise me ?" She wasn't very tall, wearing a white dress and nothing more. She has blonde hair and blue eyes, big cheeks and she looked sad. I realised who stood there in front of me.

"I miss you so much, why did you leave me ? Why ?" I yelled. "I wasn't ready ! I never wanted this to end like this ! We should have grown up, together. You had no right to leave me alone in here !" I screamed. I didn't want to scream at her, but I had so many things to say. 

"Clary, I'm sorry. You know I didn't want to hurt you. I do want us to be together. Join me here. You'll be fine, I promised." She walked closer and closer to me. She smiled at me, inclining her head. She raised her hand and put it on my cheek. She opened her mouth. "Clary ! Wake up ! Damn, wake up !" Her voice sounded like a man's voice. Someone was shaking me. I was being pulled away from her.

I opened my eyes and took the deepest deep I could take, but I was still having trouble breathing. "Seriously Clary, don't you have Ventolin or something ?! I thought you were going to die suffocating !" Bradley stood there, that was his voice, that was him who shook me, to.. wake me up ? Yeah, I did fall asleep. All of this was a dream. What was I dreaming about ? It slowly but surely faded away.