A/N: Keso sa umaga.
*****
Sobrang bihira lang talaga ako pumunta ng GMA, hindi naman kasi ako under sa kanila. When I do go there, usually for meetings lang, ganoin. Like today, Alden and I had a meeting with Ms. Annette Gozon for a possible project pero nothing final pa. We're exploring available options na medyo hindi masyadong overwhelming for me. Si Alden kasi sanay na eh, wala nang adjustment, eh ako? I am experiencing everything for the first time. Pero masaya.
Anyways, nauna akong bumaba from the boardroom kasi Alden had to drop by the Artist Center office, maghe-hello lang daw siya. He gave me his car keys kasi wala akong dalang kotse, naiwan sa Broadway. On my way out, andami kong nasalubong na mga artista, nakaka-starstruck pala. Yung tipong dati napapanood ko lang sila sa TV tapos ngayon hi-hello na kami. Plus nakakaloka yung fact na kilala nila ako. Windang mode ang lola niyo.
As I stepped out of the elevator, nakita ko si Julie. She was sitting sa couch, may kausap siya na babae who informed her of my presence. Siniko niya si Julie eh, nakita ko. I smiled at them. Bakit hindi, di ba? Wala naman akong issue sa kanila. Kaso lang, I won't make the effort na lumapit at makipag-beso kasi wala kami sa ganung level. I smiled, I said hi. Okay na yun. But when Julie saw me, tumayo siya and walked toward me.
Before you react, okay lang ako. I mean, I'm not threatened like, at all. In fairness naman sa kanya, she wasn't on attack mode. She approached me politely and I had no reason to be impolite. At tsaka, hindi naman ako ganung tao. Alam mo yan.
So ayun, she asked me if we could talk. I was a bit surprised kasi wala naman kaming dapat pag-usapan but I said yes. A couple of passers-by were looking at us, siguro they were hoping for some drama, a confrontation scene straight out of a teleserye, but we're far too matured for that-or well, at least I am. Since nasa gitna kami ng lounge, we just moved so we don't get in the way of other people. Ni hindi man lang ako nag-attempt na maupo kasi alam ko naman that this talk wouldn't last long.
Since I am not one for small talks, tinanong ko agad siya why she needed to talk to me. Sabi niya she just wanted to explain her side regarding the issues between her and Alden. I told her na wala naman akong pakialam dun. I mean, sa kanilang dalawa na yun and I'm not part of whatever it is that they have. Wala namang need to explain kasi, as in really, literal na walakompake. Sabi pa niya, ayaw lang daw niya na nakakagulo siya sa relationship namin ni Alden.
Alam mo, minsan may pagka-dense talaga ako, pero hindi ko naman inaaraw-araw yun. I knew na she was trying to elicit a confirmation or a denial from me. She was fishing for information kung ano talaga ang real status namin ni Alden. Pero I caught that. Medyo na-offend ako ng konti kasi, parang, ano ba, akala ba niya shunga ako na hindi ko mage-gets yun? I'm not going to give her that satisfaction so I kept quiet. I did not even try to assure her na hindi siya nakakagulo whatsoever.
You may find this difficult to believe pero hindi kasi namin siya napag-uusapan ni Alden. Not naman na off-limits yung topic about her. I'm sure naman na if nagtanong ako, may sagot naman akong makukuha. I think the only time na her name ever came up, yun yung nag-guest ako sa SPS nung December. Nag-sorry pa ako sa kanya nun because of the bashing that she received from some fans. Alden did not even ask kung ano pinag-usapan namin ni Julie. He just asked me kung okay lang ako. When I said yes, hindi na na-mention yung ganap na yun ever again.
It was awkward. I mean, yung pag-uusap namin, sobrang awkward. Kasi she initiated the talk tapos parang hindi naman niya alam kung ano ang sasabihin niya sa'kin tapos ako, wala naman talaga akong sasabihin sa kanya. But I admire her courage to, you know, come up to me when people are expecting her to be rude. If it's all for show, kebs lang. Ako pa ba.
Alden came right on time, yung parang feeling ko palala na ng palala ang awkward levels. When he saw us, wala lang. No change sa facial expression niya, nakangiti lang siyang nakatingin sa akin. Tumango siya kay Julie and said Hi tapos he asked me if pwede na kaming umalis.
No, he did not make an attempt to kiss me sa harap ni Julie. Wala, walang ganun. He was just, ano ba, normal. No hint of bitterness, no showing off, no anger. He was so secure with what he have that he didn't see the need to flaunt it in front of his ex ka-MU's face. Pero people could see how happy he was.
He was happy.
With me.
I think it was at that very moment that I realized na masaya din ako.
Naisip ko, mahal ko na yata siya.
Mali.
Mahal ko na talaga siya.
*****
Nakalimutan ko, may kasamang mangga pala.
