Nasa Artist Center office ako when somebody whispered to me na kinakausap daw ni Julie si Maine at that moment. I must admit, nag worry ako ng very light. Although alam ko naman na kaya ni Maine ang sarili niya, I just don't want to expose her sa mga situations na ganun. Maine is classy and I know hindi siya gagawa ng eksena, but then again, hindi niya kontrolado yung actions ng taong kausap niya. I excused myself agad dun sa mga kausap ko para puntahan si Maine.
I felt relieved ng makita ko na they were talking silently sa gilid and that walang stress sa mukha ni Maine. I was so tempted to kiss her in front of Julie kasi alam kong hindi na siya makakatanggi nun. Yung panggulat na kiss ba. Pero I stopped myself kasi kakakain ko lang ng garlic bread na bigay ng isa sa mga handlers. Ang intense nung amoy, as in.
In fairness, nag hi naman ako kay Julie. Hindi naman ako rude para mag-pretend na wala siya dun, I just didn't see the need to talk to her. Ang totoo, we don't talk. Hi-hello lang kami sa SPS. Not talking to her is a personal decision. Aside from the fact na wala naman talaga kaming pag-uusapan, ayoko lang talaga siyang kausap. And I'm saying this with no hint of bitterness or anger. Sobrang happy ko lang ngayon para maging bitter pa.
Nakakatuwa nga kasi Maine and I, we never talk about Julie. Hindi rin naman nagtatanong si Maine about her. Yung parang, we are aware of her existence pero wala siyang part sa story namin, alam mo yun? And I find it refreshing about Maine. Hindi siya insecure, at all. Hindi siya katulad ng ibang babae na hahalungkatin at hahalungkatin ang past mo. Siya, hindi. Although willing naman ako sagutin ang mga tanong niya if meron, or di kaya i-volunteer ang information.
What happened with Julie and I, I'd rather forget. Honestly, she reminds me of a sad time sa buhay ko when I allowed people to just walk over me kasi mas nakakaangat sila. Some people treated me as a doormat back then, yung ipinamukha sa'kin yung mga kakulangan ko and why I did not deserve better things. Ang masama dun, hinayaan ko. Inisip ko na mas malaki sila, mas successful, mas magaling, mas may kaya. Siguro yun yung reason kung bakit inallow ko na maliitin ako dati. When people keep telling you you're not any good, na hanggang diyan ka lang, you tend to believe them especially pag bata ka. Hindi pala dapat ganun. Not only should you believe people who look down on you, you should also never, ever look down on people. Period.
We said goodbye after ko sila tanungin if it's okay for us to leave. I could sense Julie's hesitation and true enough, she asked me if we could talk, na kami lang. I said no, siyempre. Sabi ko whatever she wants to say to me, she can say it in front of Maine. Nakita ko yung disappointment sa mata niya but I couldn't care less. Well, nag sorry lang siya because nada-drag daw yung names namin sa mga interviews niya. I said okay lang, na we understand. Tapos yun, umalis na kami.
While walking papunta sa parking area, Maine was smiling. Di ko alam bakit. Tapos bigla niya akong tinanong, sabi, "Ba't di mo ako kiniss?" Natawa ako kasi yung mga hirit niya talaga, sobrang unexpected minsan. Sinagot ko siya, sabi ko, "Gusto mo ba?" Yun, tumahimik siya. Yan kasi, magsisimula ng isang bagay tapos di kayang panindigan.
I thought yun na yun, na tapos na ang usapan sa ganun, pero hindi pa pala. Pagpasok namin sa kotse, nagtanong ulit siya,
"Yung totoo, why didn't you kiss me?"
So I explained na gustong-gusto ko actually, kaso kakakain ko lang ng garlic bread na sobrang umaalingasaw yung amoy. Sabi niya,
"Yun lang ba ang reason?"
Sabi ko oo, yun lang.
Tapos bigla siyang lumapit sa'kin. Sabi niya,
"You know what? I never really cared about the smell of garlic."
I forgot to breathe. The next thing I knew, her lips gently brushed unto mine.
She. Kissed. Me.
I kissed her back.
*****
