I Found Love at Thirty Two

30 William Part 2

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"I'm sorry dad. Im so sorry." Hindi ko na napigilan pang umiyak nang pumasok ang dad ko sa room ng hotel at niyakap ako. Pareho kaming napaupo sa sahig at umiiyak.

"Dad, I really didn't do it. Yes. I find pleasure in having sex with girls but I wont force myself into someone dad. I am not guilty of that rape case. I am not dad. Trust me. Trust me dad." Ramdam kong hindi lang ako ang nahihirapan sa sitwasyon ngayon kung hindi lalo ang mga magulang ko.

Kanina, pagdating namin sa room ni Lucy ay masinsinan kaming kinausap ng mga parents ko. My mom started crying when she finally said that a schoolmate from college filed a rape case against me. That I used drugs to make her unconscious and forced her into doing the act in one of the parties where I bumped into her. She got all the pictures as evidences and even a medical certificate coming from the doctor that she was raped. Hindi lang ako agad nakasuhan noon dahil lumipad ako papuntang Pilipinas.

Honestly, hindi ko na matandaan pa ang babaeng nag file sa akin ng case. I mean, who would remember one night stands right? At isa pa, it was all just for pleasure before pero alam ko sa sarili kong ako ang nilalapitan ng babae at not the other way around. It's impossible but the evidences are all telling us that I am guilty. That I committed the crime.

Lucy tried to control her tears several times too pero hindi niya napigilan kaya't pareho silang dinala ni dad sa isa pang room para doon magpahinga. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin kami nag-uusap.

"You know that I believe in you son. But the only way to prove that you are not guilty is by facing her in court. By surrendering yourself and not hiding."

My dad handed me a bottled water and looked at me in my eyes.

"This is a test of faith William. And I hope that despite of this, you will not falter. The more that you are hurt, the more that you have to move closer to our Father."

"I know that dad but why now? This could have been one of the most memorable time with Lucy, I was planning on proposing dad after the awarding, I was planning on asking you if we could get married in our church but why dad? Why?" Naramdaman ko ang sarili kong sinusuntok na ang pader ng kwarto at nagdugo na rin ang kamay ko. Hindi naman ako pinigilan ng dad ko dahil alam niyang ako yung tipo ng taong kapag nasaktan ay talagang nagiging emosyonal. Bakit kasi ngayon pa nangyari to hindi ba? Bakit hindi na lang dumating yung rape case bago ako umalis ng Australia? Di sana, di ko na nakilala pa si Lucy. Di sana, hindi siya nasasaktan ng ganito.

This is a very important day for Lucy dahil yung entry niya nakapasok sa finals, an international photography contest, yet, I have ruined everything. Kung hindi lang ako naging mahilig sa sex noon, kung natuto lang akong maghintay sa tamang panahon na gawin yun sa taong mahal ko at pinakasalan ko, kung hindi lang ako nagpadala sa init ng laman ko, di sana masaya kami ngayon. Sana maayos kami ngayon, sana nalilibot ko na siya sa Australia. Sana she is all smiling and I would just stare at her and admire her.

"There are things in life that we don't understand right away but you have to open your heart."

"Open my heart? Why wont God open His dad? Why? He allowed my father to abandon me. He let my mother died of giving birth. He let me fall into the darkness. Why did he even rescue me when he would just let go of me?" Napasigaw na ako. Galit ako. Galit ako sa sitwasyong meron ako. Galit ako dahil pakiramdam ko pinababayaan na naman ako ng Diyos gaya ng dati.

"You are letting your emotion ruin you son. What about us? What about me and your mom? Even Lucy? It is also God who brought us to you. Your business, your talents, even your good looks."

"Daaaddd!!!" Wala na kong nasabi pa kung hindi umiyak at muling yumakap sa aking ama. Kung tututusin, what dad has just said are all right. I guess I am just blinded. I have more blessings to count rather than the pain I had and yet I blamed God for all my misfortunes when in fact itong rape case na to ay kasalanan ko namang talaga. Di nga ako guility pero dahil sa maling mga actions ko ay ganito ang naging consequence. And there's no way of escaping.

"Do not worry about Lucy. Your mom is with her. She is in pain too but I know that she wont leave you son. She could have flown back to the Philippines earlier but she chose to sleep with your mom in the other room."

Masakit sa puso kong isipin ko lang na sa halip na nagcecelebrate kami ngayon ni Lucy ay umiiyak siya ng tahimik kasama ang mom ko. Pero masaya akong gaya ng sinabi ng dad, she chose to stay. She didn't leave me.

"Dad, can... can you.. can please pray for me? You are right dad. I should not blame God at all. And I should be man enough to face the consequences of my actions because I know, God will not leave me. "

My dad led me in prayer and that night, I bent down my knees once again and allowed God to work in my life. We have prayed even for the person who filed the charges against me and for Lucy for the strength to carry through the journey with me. At kung sakaling kinabukasan ay sasabihin na niyang hindi niya kaya, hindi ko siya pipilitin dahil ayoko pang mas lalo siyang masaktan. Totoong mahihirapan akong mabuhay kung mawawala siya pero kung hihingin niya ang kalayaan niya at yun ang magpapasaya sa kanya, kahit na masakit ay gagawin ko. Pero hihilingin ko pa rin sa Diyos na kung sakaling magkahiwalay kami bukas, magtagpo ulit ang aming mga landas at maging kami pa rin sa huli kahit na pareho ng maraming ugat ang mga kamay namin at mabagal nang maglakad dahil sa katandaan.

"This we pray in your name, our Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen."

"Thanks Dad. Thank you for always being there. Salamat dad."

"You have to sleep now son. Tomorrow, we will face the court together. I will not leave you son. I will stand by you no matter what."

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